Wandering Consciousness

A few simple steps...

2012-01-06T13:49:00.004+01:00

Tired of problems without solutions? Do you want to help, but don't know what to do? Are you frustrated by everyone blaming problems on the government or corporations without proposing answers?

I want to try the opposite. I would like to propose some simple changes you can make in your life. Then I'll explain how these simple changes can improve you, your community, and your world. Changing the world is daunting and near impossible, but making small changes in our daily lives is quite manageable.

Do you want to fight the power, to stick it to the man? Do you hope to change politics and economics? Are you trying to rebel against corporations? Are you tired of being sick and sick of being tired? Do you want to really improve the world for your children? Starting, any or all of these, is simple. As simple as:

Buy local & organic...
Cook your food...
Find alternatives to driving...

The first step, buying local and organic food, probably means changing where you shop. For maximum effect, it means giving up the big-box retailers and switching to a smaller retailer or local market. Giving up the huge parking lot aught to be reason enough to change. Knowing your local grocers and farmers is fullfilling. It's a satisfying experience to feel like part of your community. And all the while you'll be avoiding industrial food. This means not giving your money to big corporations and not letting their chemicals make you sick. That in turn brings better health, both in the short and long terms. Obesity is far less an issue with real food as are problems from diabetes to depression and even cancer. Local & organic foods are good for the environment and reduce global warming and pollution. There's less oil used when you don't transport foods from around the world, and fewer chemicals get into our ground water, air, and into the food itself.

If you drink coffee then buying fair-trade organic coffee is the first place to start. Commercial coffee is one of the single most dangerous crops in the world. The pollution it causes, due to chemicals and treating, is staggering. Coffee is responsible for a lot of rainforest destruction and a lot of economic misery. The children of coffee farmers often die of malnutrition. Foreign corporations control how farmers farm, where planting just a few food crops, into the same precious soil, could save their families. Making different choices breaks the chain of corporate greed, hurts unjust governments, and improves the lives of farmers (and their children) around the world.

Cooking is a tradition most of us have lost. But thankfully not too long ago. There are probably still a few pots and pans hidden away in your kitchen. Learning to cook is easy and fun. It can bring families closer together, make meal times more social, and of course cooking all that wholesome locally grown organic food will make you healthier. What's the catch?

Sorry to say, for most of us, the catch to "cooking" means giving up fast food and canned drinks. This is harder for some than for others, but truly critical. Rainforest destruction, health issues with processed and frozen foods, corporate abuses, unfair marketing to children, constant cavities; all these can be avoided just by cooking your own food. And this will improve your happiness too. The preparation time, the family sharing, the connection it builds between you and your food, and the improved health that comes from eating real food; all these go into making you feel better and happier. And, the rebelious act of cooking your own food pulls control of your life out of the hands of others and gives it back to you. Cooking is so much more than changing food. It can change the world.

I grew up in a North American subburb where it felt like life didn't really begin until you could drive. Sure, as 15 year olds we would ride our bikes to the mall, but not as 17 year olds. As an adult, I recall leaving the office with coworkers to go for dinner, where 5 people got in 5 cars, drove across the road and parked. Clearly walking the short distance was preferable.

Your physical abilities are a "use it or loose it" proposition. Don't take little walks, and later you won't be able to. So start thinking of ways you can move your body. And start to bike, and use the bus. Chances are the buses in your locality go "downtown", to where the smaller (local) shops and business are. Take the bus to the farmers market and get to know the butcher, the baker, and the bus fare taker.

Use alternative transportation and you change the world. You change the need to import oil from war-torn regions far away. You change the controls that corporations and energy companies have over you. You pollute less, move your body more, spend some time outdoors and feel happier and healthier for these experiences. When you look at your daily routines, ask yourself which trips you could make better, but making them without the car.

Lower your stress, stop war, live longer, help children in poor countries, improve your heart and reduce your risk of cancer, reduce pollution to your drinking water and stop corporations from taking control of your life... the list goes on and on. There are lots and lots of problems in the world, and you can begin to fight many of them by making a few small changes at home. You benefit, I benefit, the whole world benefits when we all start working together.

So I invite you, I beg you, let's rebel. Let's start a new way of thinking and acting. Let us simply choose to eat better food, to cook what we eat, and to consider whether or not you need to drive. Once begun, these changes feedback on themselves. Feeling healthier makes you want better food and to move more. Eating better and moving more make you feel healthier. The cycle spreads outwards and helps others. And starting is as simple as: buy local and organic foods, cook them yourself, and find other ways to travel.

What is it like to Occupy Amsterdam?

2011-10-28T10:38:00.008+02:00

On September 17th, Occupy Wall Street started in NYC. For the first time in nearly a century, people were suddenly discussing economics and politics in ways that were previously tabboo. The discussion was like a flame. It caught hold and spread quickly and people around America and around the world started taking notice. On October 15th cities around the world joined in.

That's where my story starts. I joined the Occupy Amsterdam rally on that first day. I was curious. I was upset with the status quo. I wanted to help. But I never thought I would actually stay. As it turns out, I've surprised myself and Amsterdam has surprised me too. It has been nothing like the experience I expected. And yet, while I fear it may have changed me forever, I'm very thankful for the past two weeks.

My plan for O15 was to show up, hang out, then head back home to prepare for a party later that night. I arrived, and within minutes, met friends at the rally. I hung out and met new friends. The opening rally was so alive! Children, grandparents, adults of all walks; the whole of the Netherlands was represented. We spent the whole day cheering, singing, talking, and photographing eachother.

Beside Amsterdam's Beursplein (henceforth, the plein) is a street known as the Damrak and a pair of tram tracks. To my surprise, on that first day the crowd spilled over the edges of the plein and actually filled the street and tracks too. Traffic and trams were halted for the whole of the afternoon. That's when I realized that Occupy Amsterdam might have a chance. The police (politie) and the city were cooperating. The rally had a permit and the few police who were pressent were there only to direct traffic. There was no attempt to control (or limit) the crowd.

Long after I had planned to go home, I was still on the plein with friends. I wasn't prepared to stay, so I ducked away for a while to grab dinner. Returning an hour later I watched as tents started going up. First in the corner nearest the toilets, every five minutes brought another row of tents, radiating outwards.

One tent stood out. The first-aid tent (EBHO in Dutch) was there as a requirement (I was told) of the rally's permit. The event needed 7x24 medical abilities, lest it be shut down. Something inside me snapped and I volunteered. After an extended period of disorganized confusion someone produced a "schedule" on the back of some cardboard. I wrote my name down for the following afternoon.

I went home, got ready for the party, and then went straight back to the plein. I just had to check on things. I went off to the party, had far less fun (and drink) than usual, and at 4am I was back visiting the plein. Four trips in the first day, I couldn't keep away.

After a brief sleep I returned Sunday afternoon to work, what was now called, the EHBA tent.

That Sunday was also my first introduction to real hippies, real anarchists, and the realities of urban camping.

Where Saturday's rally had included everybody, Sunday evening was about the campers. To my eyes there were groups of angry anarchists, hippies playing drums, and a few students running around getting things done. People openly wondered if these different groups could talk to eachother, never mind live together.

Over the coming days and nights the visual cues would blur. Fashion on the plein tended towards functional and black. No one wore UGGS, but black leather with 3 to 5 layers underneath became ubiquitous. And as we started to look alike, we started to work together in impressive form.

I am familiar with theories of different socio-political systems, but I had never experienced anarchy in a working way before. Now I'm sold. The collective power of a group of people can be harnessed even without a leader. The whole Occupy movement has deliberately remained leaderless. If you ask "Who's in charge here?" the universal response will be "No one!"

We had a common goal (to build our camp) and we all wanted to help. The result was that any idea, once put into motion, would be finished quickly. Start raising a tarp against the rain or bringing order to a mess and people would jump in to help. Backs and hands were available with a shout for even the heaviest of tasks.

Of course mistakes were made. A few activities made me shake my head. Not every idea was a good one. Not every project should have been built. But what impressed me most was how the constant changes erased the mistakes and kept the good ideas. Before you could have gathered experts and planned a design, the trial-and-error method already had solutions in place. By the time experts and planners would have had a solution built, the anarchist approach had a second or third generation system running smoothly.

The camp was growing. It was like watching a baby-deer making its first attempts to stand, moments after birth. It was awkward, inelligant, messy, and inspiringly beautiful.

I have no idea when the kitchen started. But from the earliest moments I remember volunteers from the kitchen tent bringing out coffee and tea for the rest of us.

It was around days 2 and 3 that I got my next surprise. I couldn't believe how good the whole experience felt. It was so positive. And it was filling my soul with energy. Love started to flow through everyone. Just standing on the plein felt good, and every time I went home to eat or sleep I missed it. Giving to others is its own reward, especially on such a large scale.

For the first 3 days, people placed tents on the bricks of the plein. Monday was the first time I heard someone ask for pallets. Pallets? Yes, to raise the tents off the cold bricks and away from the rain. Rain? Yes, there were forecasts for North Sea storms and heavy, heavy rains.

I returned Tuesday imagining that the floor of the EHBA tent would be a lake. Instead I found only wet bricks and bewildered 'co-workers'. Hours earlier the entire tent had lifted off the ground and blown away. Half the camp was destroyed. Tent poles were scattered about. Tent pieces and old protest signs were mixed together in large wet rubbish piles.

And we rebuilt.

The power of the group, again, amazed me. I ran around and collected poles. Others extracted the roof and side panels from their messy piles and we started to rebuild. Pallets began to show up from no where. ;) In no time the EHBA tent was secured with sandbags and pallets at each corner. By the afternoon we had a floor nearly filled with pallets that would later serve as a treatment area and sleeping spaces.

The camp had survived its first great adversity. We awoke to chaos, and used anarchy to bring peace and order back. The sense of group was strong. We were overcoming!

But overcoming the wind and rain, in a small square, in a dense urban area isn't so special. It turns out that the local "wildlife" would provide much more difficulty than imagined. We weren't alone.

The Red Light District of Amsterdam is about 60 metres away.

As bars closed each night at 1am, 3am, and 5am we received waves of drunken visitors. Unlike those who dropped by during the day, the drunks from the RLD were not there to support us.

Even more difficult than drunk tourists, we also had the homeless. Beursplein, on any normal night, is an epicenter of Amsterdam's homeless life. We were camping in the middle of other peoples' living space.

Protestors showed up with tents and backpacks and sleeping bags. People came ready to camp. But within a few nights, people just showed up. Tourists gave up the comfort of hostels and joined us on the plein. People who had brought tents left them and others donated camping gear but didn't show up themselves. Soon housing was handled on a "where ever" basis. The first aid volunteers reminded everyone to "Sleep where it's dry, with whatever blankets you can find." And in this environment the local homeless found everything they needed too.

Each day I came back to camp to hear stories about how poorly the night shifts had gone. Mental illness, drunkeness, violence, we had it all. I decided to switch to working nights. I reversed my schedule because I could sleep peacefully at home during the day, which the campers just simply couldn't do on the plein.

I spent a number of nights working all night and (usually) travelling home to sleep through the day. By this point, time had lost all meaning. I had no idea what day it was. I would get home, sleep, wake up, eat, and then rush back out to the night shift. There was rarely time for a second meal. The picture diary I had thus far been posting to Facebook stopped getting updated. At first I didn't have time at home to upload the pictures. Later I didn't have time during the nights to take any.

At the very best of times, the plein would be very very quiet. Peacekeepers wandered the camp (which now filled the entire plein) and a partner and I would staff the 'magic hospital'. We'd get only a couple of visits each night for plasters or throat lozenges. (Splinters were mostly a day-shift issue.) Candles lit the tent each night and flashlights allowed scrapes and cuts to be treated. We were ready.

With the teamwork and successes and feeling of love and oneness everywhere... it was dangerously easy to forget we were camping in the middle of Amsterdam. I've lived here over ten years and I know that anything not double-locked has a half-life of 2 minutes on the street. And yet there we slept, while local youths opened tents, stole wallets and clothes, and generally picked the camp clean. I took watching very seriously and I learned about con-artists and pickpockets. I learned how they worked in teams, with distractions, and I learned to mistrust.

That brought me pain. But I now see the loss of my own material possessions as an important passage.

In the end, the thefts and tricks and arguements with drunks become too much. Add in sleep deprivation and no one can handle it indefinitely. We are now rotating, not just through shifts, but also off the plein. The volunteers and the campers all need rest that you just can't get in 8 degree rain in a tent in the middle of a busy city.

I made it 12 days, and then had to step away. I've had a whole day and night at home now and physically need another. But my brain won't let me leave the Occupy. I can't put it down. Even now, I'm hoping my writing will not just be my therapy, but will inform others and bring more people to help.

I'll be back tomorrow and I truly have no idea what to expect. I believe that by then, Occupy Museumplein will be underway about 2 kms away. I don't know whether the authorities will allow it, but each weekend more Occupy camps are added, nationwide and worldwide. Thus I have hope.

Communications into and out of the camp (Internet and cell phones) are terrible. Do you want to know how to help an Occupy? Go there. Go down and look. Ask. Expect people to not know, but keep watching and asking. It only takes a short while before you start helping.

Go to an Occupy. Help other people. Give something without expectations. Feel the oneness. Feel the love. And then stand and occupy!

It's too important a movement to not help. Please join us.

Beyond Capitalism

2011-10-19T23:59:00.007+02:00

There are things in this world best not chosen by profit. I do not think the food that was most profitable for the food company is necessarily the best to eat. I would, instead, prefer the healthiest food I can afford. I do not believe that the care we should receive at a hospital is about the insurance cards (or credit cards) in a wallet. I believe we should all receive the same care. I do not feel that education will best benefit humanity if it is only shared with the richest. I feel education is a right we should all have access to.

Few people (in my personal discussions) argue these points. Education, representation, access to safe food and water; these are things in the western world we take for granted. But should we?

There are some things we may want done without a profit motive. Sometimes we easily agree that the right choice will simply cost more. As individuals we can make the choice to invest that little extra. But what about, as a society?

As a society we hold to ideals of profit and growth. They are inherent through our entire system. If something won't be profitable, it simply won't be done. If it won't make money, you won't find the resources to do it. This is where the problem is. Things, like education and health, have value beyond dollars. They pay back to all of society over time, but not in a neatly ammortizable and deterministic way.

My assertion is that we need to think beyond profit. We need to be able to account for the value of human-vitality and new-thoughts because we need to make choices that encourage a better future.

But for many people, the term "anti-capitalist" is heard as "communist". Communists and capitalists have had a century of war. Thus any doubt of capitalism, or the 'virtues' it instills, is a further attack in a long war. Indeed, any mention of "capitalism" seems to imply you are an outsider to it, and thus an immediate enemy.

This needs to change. We need to be able to use words meaningfully. If we want to discuss the future, then we have to discuss ideas beyond the present. We have to use words and phrases (like "beyond capitalism") to discuss what could come next. We need to be able to talk about ideas openly, without McCarthyism fears turning words to dust.

Something will follow today. The world of the future will be different from our world. Get over it. And then imagine what you might want that world to be.

The alternative is that other people will chose your future. Other people will see you as a source of profit for themselves, or a threat to their profits, and they will react accordingly. Shall we talk about a better future, one beyond profit motives? Or would you like to pretend that discussing capitalism makes me your enemy?

Micronutrient Malnutrition

2011-10-08T14:05:00.008+02:00

Say "malnutrition" and thoughts go straight to starving children in Africa; drought victims relying on bags of UNICEF rice. Children and adults with seriously caloric-deficient diets will eventually die. This is starvation.

Say "micronutrient malnutrition" and thoughts go straight to... what? The image I want you to think of is an obese westerner. With micronutrient malnutrition there has been no lack of calories, but micronutrients (vitamins, minerals, enzymes and more) have been in short supply. Such diets are also fatal, but instead of starvation, the result is chronic illness. Nutrition studies are now linking a lack of micronutrients to obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular illnesses, and cancer.

Food is much more than simply carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. In addition to these macronutrients, we require minerals and vitamins in our food. Necessary micro-minerals include at least iron, cobalt, chromium, copper, iodine, manganese, selenium, zinc and molybdenum.

Vitamins are organic compounds that are essential for life. They include at least 13 different substances including retinol, thiamine, ascorbic acid, calciferol, riboflavin, tocopherol, cobalamins, phylloquinone, pantothenic acid, biotin, pyridoxine, niacin, and folic acid.

But obesity, cancer and adult-onset diabetes are modern ailments. If early humans could find enough folic acid and cobalt what has changed such that we do not? I believe there are two primary causes: modern food processing and industrial farming.

Processed food is an obvious problem. Strip away the wheat germ and you loose the vitamin E, tocopherol. Sure you can spray a synthetic vitamin E back into the flour, but this is far less bio-available (less able to be used by your body) than the tocopheral in the wheat germ. Now repeat this process for every ingredient of every food you eat and voila, most of the micronutrients are missing.

Other problems with food processing include heat damage. Enzymes are often destroyed with heating, such as when milk is pasteurized or homogenized. Nutrients can be oxidized, as when oils are converted to trans-fats simply through the heat of an extraction process.

Most foods are now "built" rather than cooked. Proteins are taken out of wheat flour but then put back in from soy beans. Cheeses are no longer fermented but simply thickened with the protein taken out of the bread flour. Scientists build foods like children build with blocks. The foods we like are soft, smooth, fluffy, sweet, but completely devoid of nutrition.

The solution to over-processed foods is simply to switch to eating whole foods. Cook your own food from basic, single ingredients and you won't have to worry about soya in your bread or wheat in your cheese.

The consequences of industrial farming are far harder to see, at first. In the long-term, however, the image of industrial farming is that of a desert; sandstorms and drought. We are only just beginning to appreciate the complexity of something as ubiquitous as soil. Or more precisely, what makes soil different from dirt.

Soil is a living ecosystem. Made up of dirt plus a large array of biomass, healthy soil is a complex balance of many forms of life, from plants to insects to fungi, molds, microbes, bacterials and more. With each harvest, nutrients are removed from this ecosystem. In order to maintain a balance, they must be replaced.

Modern farming practices replace nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium. Some fertilizers include other elements, but none replace the complex organic compounds that left with the last harvest. And the next crops suffer the loss. Fertilized plants will grow, but if they are missing important elements they end up weaker. Weaker plants are easier for pests to eat, so fertilized crops are more prone to pest invasions. More chemicals are called into use, neurotoxins and such, to eliminate the pests. But these chemicals kill almost all the insects. So the insects that feed on fungus are also killed and suddenly the fields are overrun with a new threat. Fungicides are called in and sprayed liberally. But that promotes an imbalanced ecosystem where some plants can flourish faster than others. We call those plants weeds, and spray even more poison onto our food and soil to stop them.

When you stop regenerating your soil, and so aggressively attack the life of its ecosystem, you kill it. And dead soil is simply dirt. Plants don't grow well. Rain washes it away. And eventually, even the rain will stop and there is nothing left but desert.

But long before the fields turn to deserts and people starve from malnutrition, there is micronutrient malnutrition and sickness. The simple element iodine is a good example. Iodine is necessary in every human body and every plant cell. Every plant is a "good source" of iodine. Except, if the soil is iodine deficient, the plant will be too. Eat only nutritionally deficient plants and you will be iodine deficient also. So even if you skip the processed foods and go straight for the broccoli and lettuce, you can end up in trouble.

Would you believe that throughout North America the soils are chronically iodine deficient? The home of the Green Revolution (industrialized farming) has for decades added iodine to salt and bread products to replace what is known to be missing. We feed it to cattle to make up for what the crops didn't find in the soil. And iodine is just one example. Soils around the world are becoming deficient.

Thankfully, soil destruction has a simple solution. Organic, especially dynamic-organic, farming is the answer. Organic farming uses none of the chemicals that kill soil ecosystems. Pests are controlled through rotations of crop types which also strengthens the soil. A 30-year comparison of farming techniques was recently reported on. It concluded that organic techniques produce more food with more nutrition than industrial/chemical farming. This fact was largely due to the healthier organic soil supporting better yields in times of drought and pests.

Healthy soil, healthy plants, healthy people. Unhealthy soil, nutrient deficient plants, chronically sick people.

So far this is a pretty simple argument. Logical. So why is it new? Why haven't you already been told that obesity is a body is craving nutrition? There is a third contributing factor.

The average medical doctor spends 8-15 years studying medicine, and about 2.5 days studying nutrition. Nutrition, the science of it, isn't taught to doctors. So when they see obesity or diabetes they turn to their training. They prescribe a drug to treat symptoms, because they were never taught the root causes.

I believe our modern decease-care system (you can call it health care if you wish) has built an incredible momentum, in the wrong direction. Hippocrates, father of modern medical thinking, understood the connection between diet and exercise centuries ago. We can only hope that the findings of nutritional science will soon be brought back into medical science.

If these assertions are correct then the changes required to fix these problems are enormous. To convince medical science to give up the medicines and return to nutrition could take decades. Converting world-wide farming practices could take even longer. But the good news is you can make these changes for yourself, right now.

You and your family can choose healthy nutrition. It isn't simple, but once in the habit it is worth it. Health is an incredible reward. And if you remove a chronic illness at the same time, then you really will be amazed by how good you feel.

My hope is that, as more people discover the benefits of real food, our society will begin to accept micronutrient malnutirtion as a problem and will work to solve it. Meanwhile, I urge you to help yourself. For your own health.

How to Support WikiLeaks and Julian Assange

2010-12-08T11:22:00.011+01:00

Today I typed http://www.wikileaks.com into my browser's URL. I didn't get there. Instead I ended up with a message saying," Sorry! This site is not currently available." That's an incredible shame, since I see WikiLeaks as a type of Robin Hood in our Information Society. How can a country (say, like the U.S.A.) declare itself democratic if information is kept from the people?

Thankfully Google is still on the ball; is still making the world a little more democratic. Search on "WikiLeaks mirror" and you get there. But for how long?

That question is my motivation for the following post. I am taking the contents (text only) of the WikiLeaks support page and reposting it here. The intent is that when you want to donate funds to support the cause, you'll still be able to.

----------
Share a Wikileaks release with a friend. Spread our wallpapers. Donate to support vital infrastructure. If you believe democracy and transparency go hand in hand, now is the time to stand and say: "The world needs Wikileaks."

Donate
WikiLeaks brings truth to the world by publishing fact-based stories without fear or favor. You can help support our independent media by donating financially. Our organisation exists because of the work of many volunteers who have contributed thousands of hours to building WikiLeaks from the ground up. But we still need donations to pay for computers, expert programmers and other bills. You choose how much you can donate, we don't recommend any particular amount. Just do what you think is right.

There are four ways to donate:

Donate to Julian Assange Defence Fund

Online Transfer via Credit Card

Bank Transfer [option 1: everyone]

Bank Transfer [option 2: tax deductible in Germany]

Paypal via Wau Holland Foundation - (not working)

Postal Mail

1. Julian Assange Defence Fund
Please donate directly to the Julian Assange and other WikiLeaks Staff Defence Fund. These funds will be used exclusively for defence costs.
To donate please do an electronic bank transfer (EFT) to:
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SWISS POST
Account number: 91-765019-6
IBAN:CH55 0900 0000 9176 5019 6
BIC:POFICHBEXXX
Account name:Assange Julian Paul, Geneve
Address::Swiss Post
PostFinance
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2. Online Transfer via Credit Card
Using our friendly credit card processing partner Datacell Switzerland.

3. Bank Transfer - Option 1: via Sunshine Press Productions ehf:
Klapparhlid 30, 270 Mosfellsbaer, Iceland
Landsbanki Islands Account number 0111-26-611010
BANK/SWIFT:NBIIISREXXX
ACCOUNT/IBAN:IS97 0111 2661 1010 6110 1002 80

4. Bank Transfer - Option 2: via the not-for-profit Wau Holland Stiftung Foundation:
This support is tax deductible in Germany
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5. PayPal via Wau Holland Foundation
[Sorry, this option does not seem to work.]

6. Via Postal Mail
You can post a donation via good old fashion postal mail to:
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I Can Choose

2010-05-25T09:58:00.006+02:00

Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair is now an ecology consultant. He is a partner in a venture capital project to use sea water to sequester carbon from power generation. As I watched his brief interview on TV, I thought "cool". He described how India and China were continuing to build new coal plants, and that Western coal-fired plants would continue to operate well into the future, thus carbon sequestering is vital technology and needs development.

In my opinion, carbon sequestering is a problematic idea. Ideally we would use non-fossil fuels for our energy needs. However, given that the continued burning of fossil fuels is a certainty, trapping carbon is required.

And then Tony said," You will never get people to stop driving their cars. You will never get consumers to stop consuming." At this, my heart sank.

A great world leader has just said "technology is the only answer" because "people can't change." At least that's how I heard it. And I really must voice my opinion to the contrary. I think we must start talking now, about how to change ourselves and our society, so that our future is about both new energy technologies and new energy attitudes.

Take, for example, bicycles and public transit as alternatives to cars. In North America I was a gas-guzzling lead-footed car guy. In Holland I love my bicycles! And I'm not the only one. Here, most of my expat friends walk or tram or ride, but don't drive.

Check out this incredible video. It is the morning rush hour in downtown Utrecht, Netherlands.

Isn't that beautiful? At that intersection 30,000 riders go past every day. That's 30,000 trips without a car! Bikes and buses have lanes and roads reserved just for them. And to quote the video's source, cycling in the Netherlands is THIRTY times safer than in the U.S.A.

Is this a technology issue? Is bicycle technology in North America just not up to par? Is it a resource issue? Is Canada lacking in bike lanes because of a lack of space? Of course not.

I think now is the time we must choose. We can choose to change. We can choose new attitudes and new ways. Or we can choose to depend on dinosaurs; and ultimately follow in their path.

I hope all the best for Tony and his technology. I really do. But I really believe he's wrong about what people are capable of. At least, I hope he is.

Advice for those already at the gym:

2010-02-25T12:10:00.003+01:00

Exercise information is easy to find but all too often, confusing. If you're a beginner, every men's or women's magazine offers routines of simple exercises to get you started. If you're a serious exercise enthusiast and looking to maximize your training there's plenty of info out there for you too. Indeed, I'm surprised by how many websites and magazine articles give advice that is only appropriate for well conditioned individuals. But what about the people in the middle?

Look around your local gym. Those are the people in the middle. They've made the move from time on the couch to time exercising. They've made improvements to how they look and feel, and understand the benefits of exercise. But chances are they've also hit a plateau, using the same exercises they were taught when they joined. What does a no-longer-a-beginner do before they're an athlete?

Two of my friends are in this position. Middle-aged, they're thinner and healthier than most. They exercise, but not routinely. Not couch potatoes, but not as fit as they desire either. With my friends in mind, I wondered what three exercise tips would I give to help them most?

As it turns out, the list of three was right at the front of my mind. And contrary to most exercise articles out there, only one of my exercise tips is actually about an exercise.

Squats and Deadlifts

Firstly, do squats. They don't show you this on your first gym visit. If you've never exercised, squats will hurt you. Don't do them. But once you've spent a few months on the machines, it's time to leave them behind for the real exercises.

Squats and deadlifts work the whole body. This is key. Working one part, then another, does NOT have the same effect as working the whole body.

Squats can be done with the bar on your back, or held infront. Deadlifts start with the bar on the floor and involve generally the same set of muscles. Either exercise can be built up to include a press, such as you might see in the olympics. Ultimately, that's the way to go. But work towards it slowly.

FYI, Smith machines, leg press machines and all the rest don't count. They don't put the same loads on your secondary muscles and supporting muscles. If you fear free weights, start with dumbbells instead of a barbell.

Drink Milk

Here's where my exercise advice stops being about exercise. This is because exercise (the actual activity at the gym) doesn't make you stronger. It is your body's reaction to the stress of exercise that makes your stronger (and leaner and healthier). So even more important than what exercises you do, is how you feed yourself. Start with milk.

I have lots to say on diet and health. But where to start? I would start with whole milk. Drinking a litre a day of whole (unskimmed) milk melts fat off my body. I've exerperienced it many times and in various ways. I've heard a ton of anecdotal stories. I can't explain it and won't try. The more milk you drink the slimmer you probably are; all other factors being equal.

(Conversely, the more diet colas you drink the fatter you likely are. Sorry, it's just my own experience and eyesight, but I believe it's true.)

And lastly...

Get Your Sleep!

I know when someone has moved from beginner to serious exerciser when they talk about sleep. Sleep is critical, even more so than food or exercise. Consider 9 hours to be the target.

The point of exercise is to stress your body, such that it then rebuilds itself, better than it was. This happens when you sleep. If you're going to the gym but not eating or sleeping properly then you're only doing your body harm.

Most anyone needs 8 hours of sleep a night. (I undertand few of us actually get that.) A little exercise and your sleep need quickly rises to 9 hours or more. If you spent an hour in the gym and an hour on your bike, consider going to bed early and getting 10 hours, guilt free.

And those are my exercise tips. Do full body exercises, eat well - starting with milk, and get your sleep. Try the three together and I bet you can get through any plateau. And I bet you feel better right away. Good luck.

The Cholesterol Controversy

2010-02-16T11:16:00.017+01:00

Atherosclerosis is better known as "hardening of the arteries". It involves a build-up of cholesterol laden plaque along the inside of your blood vessels. Atherosclerosis sometimes leads to bits of plaque rupturing into the blood stream, blocking blood flow, and causing a heart attack or stroke. These mechanisms, at their macroscopic level, are well understood. Post mortem, researchers can measure the plaque, find the rupture, find the clot, see the dead heart tissue, etc. But are you willing to believe that what causes atherosclerosis is not understood?

Since the mid-eighties the "lipid hypothesis" of plaque formation has been more or less accepted as medical dogma. "It has been established beyond a reasonable doubt that lowering definitely elevated blood cholesterol levels (specifically, blood levels of low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol) will reduce the risk of heart attacks caused by coronary heart disease." [1] Soon statin drugs became the norm to lower blood cholesterol levels and prevent heart attacks. The results were encouraging.

In addition to drugs, research found that if all cholesterol and fats are cut from the diet then levels of cholesterol in the blood drop and fewer heart attacks occur in people who have already had a heart attack.

Cholesterol is mainly found in saturated fats. Thus saturated fats are routinely singled out as dangerous for people to eat.

The NIH website states," How does cholesterol cause heart disease? When there is too much cholesterol in your blood, it builds up in the walls of your arteries." [2] Simple. Perhaps too simple? Indeed, this theory is being questioned by small groups around the world.

THINCS is The International Network of Cholesterol Skeptics. They believe that "enormous human and financial resources have been wasted on the cholesterol campaign, [while] more promising research areas have been neglected." [3] They contend that there are numerous reasons to look at other theories for the cause of atherosclerosis and heart disease. Normal scientific practices involve dissent and discussion but THINCS thinks that the lipid-hypothesis is not open to the scrutiny or questioning that it should be.

This unquestioning belief in the cholesterol campaign means researchers like Uffe Ravnskov, a Danish medical doctor, have difficulty getting published. "Dr Ravnskov has received the Skrabanek Award in 1999 from Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland, for original contributions in the field of medical scepticism. He was also honoured with the Integrity In Science Award 2003 given by The Weston A. Price Foundation." [4] Infamous for his views against "The Cholesterol Myth" he is often quoted and often attacked around the 'net.

Ravnskov states," No study of unselected individuals has found an association between the concentration of LDL or total cholesterol in the blood and the degree of atherosclerosis at autopsy." [5]

But how can he say this? The secret is in the word "unselected". What it boils down to is quite simple. The connection between cholesterol and heart disease is clear. The causation is not. Studies have consistently shown that people with heart disease have cholesterol problems. This isn't refuted. But the connection between eating cholesterol and falling ill with heart disease is assumed by the current scientific consensus. What Ravnskov says is that if you look at healthy people and their cholesterol levels there is no statistical connection to their rates of heart disease.

Most science is based on random studies, sampling as much of a population as possible. However the work on heart disease has centered on studying people who have it already, not on why other people don't have it.

Amongst his many works, Ravnskov even has alternate theories that explain the cholesterol connection and the causation of atherosclerosis.

Prior to general acceptance of the lipid hypothesis, researchers and doctors believed that plaque formation in the arteries was caused by infections in the body. Post mortem research showed direct correlations between arterial plaque build-up and long term sickness. People who had died after long illnesses had extensive plaque build-up and people who died after shorter illnesses had less plaque. [6]

Ravnskov believes there are multiple reasons to look at infection as a cause or contributor to atherosclerosis and heart disease. He believes that cholesterol plays a role as a "non-specific immune response" within the body; that the cholesterol is a response to disease and not the cause.

A study done jointly with Harvard researcher Kilmer McCully postulates how micro-organisms are surrounded and neutralized by lipoproteins (LDL cholesterol) within the blood. The invading particle, surrounded by lipoproteins, precipitates out of the blood and in healthy individuals is handled by the immune system. The theory goes that when the immune system is weak, the resulting LDL cholesterol concentrations become plaque which is unstable and prone to rupture. [7]

It all boils down to a "weakened immune response" leads to heart disease. This is very different from "eating saturated fats" causes heart disease. Indeed, for some groups, like the Weston A. Price foundation, mentioned above, these statements are opposite to each other.

Based on the work of Dr. Price (DDS) early last century, the foundation (which Price did not start) has some radical and controversial ideas. A bit too radical for my personal tastes. But they summarize Dr. Price's research on native/natural diets and have, I think, two interesting points. First, the macro nutrient ratios (carbs, proteins, fats) consumed by pre-industrial societies varied widely. There is no magic ratio that is the "ideal" way to eat. Secondly, no natural diet was ever found that was free of saturated fats. [8]

Saturated fats are actually biologically necessary. Even in vegetarian cultures, such as in India, traditional diets included saturated fats from coconuts, butter and other sources. On the opposite end of the scale, such as with the Inuit in the Arctic, meat-rich diets were so dense in nutrients and vitamins that almost no plant-based food needed to be consumed. In all these cases, not only did people intake high levels of saturated fat, but they also had relatively low rates of heart disease.

Nutritionist and W. A. Price Foundation co-founder, Mary G. Enig (PhD), contends that initial connections between saturated fats and heart disease were based on flawed studies which used hydrogenated coconut oils. [9] Hydrogenation is a process of chemically changing fats, usually to make them thicker. Today we know that hydrogenation leads to chemicals called trans-fats.

Natural animal fats (saturated fats) do not contain trans-fats. Cold-pressed vegetable oils such as olive oil (monounsaturated) and corn, sunflower and flax seed oils (polyunsaturated) also don't contain trans-fats. Canola oil, one of the 'heart-healthy alternatives', is a good example of a polyunsaturated oil because it contains no trans-fats. However polyunsaturated oils are unstable when heated. And heating is a part of the oil's extraction such that the canola oil you have at home can be up to 5% trans-fat, before you ever begin your cooking. [10]

Heating saturated fats makes them melt. But it requires temperatures higher than those used to cook, to chemically transform them. Thus, a diet rich in natural sources of saturated fats does not have many trans-fats. (Processed sources of saturated fat, such as the fats in a fast food combo meal - burger and fries - are also very high in hydrogenated trans-fats.)

It's all very confusing! Search on any of the references herein and you will see endless controversy and accusations of pseudoscience and flawed thinking from both sides. Does meat cause heart disease? Will a life of rice cakes and vegetable oil keep us healthy?

I don't know, and probably not.

In all my reading, the only constant I've seen is a series of comparisons between natural, whole foods, and processed foods. I think a lot of the research that has vilified saturated fats should actually be redone with an eye to isolating the effects of trans-fats. And I think that because of the multi-billion dollar annual investment in the lipid-hypothesis, that this research isn't going to be done. The only real conclusion I can draw is that whole, unprocessed foods, are significantly healthier for us than processed foods.

I now go over every ingredients list, when I buy food. If I see "hydrogenated" or "partially-hydrogenated" vegetable oil or E443, I put it down. I've even put down "organic, whole-wheat" bread products that were baked with thickened oil. When I cook, I have started to use natural fats like butter (grass-fed) and coconut oil (cold-pressed virgin oil). These stay chemically stable, both on the stove and in the body, and make good taste wonderful.

I believe our industrialized food manufacturing processes are harming us. I believe that choosing natural (whole, organic, home-cooked) foods is the only sane response to the insane group of theories we call "nutrition". And I believe that if we wait patiently, this situation will worsen instead of improve. As people the world-over switch to vegetable shortenings for 'heart health' more people die of heart disease.

That said, I believe that every time I buy good food I'm voting for a change. Every time I cook a meal, rather than reheat a package, I'm telling the medical and scientific and agricultural communities that people want more research. And finally, I hope, that if enough of us follow this approach, that eventually the truths will be known.

--------------
Footnotes:

1. (1985). "Consensus conference. Lowering blood cholesterol to prevent heart disease". JAMA 253 (14): 2080–6. doi:10.1001/jama.253.14.2080. PMID 3974099

2. http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/chol/wyntk.htm

3. http://www.thincs.org/

4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uffe_Ravnskov

5. Ravnskov U. "Is atherosclerosis caused by high cholesterol?" Q J Med 2002;95:397-403.

6. Wiesel J. Die Erkrankungen arterieller Gefässe im Verlaufe akuter Infektionen. II Teil. Z Heilkunde 1906; 27:262-294.

7. Uffe Ravnskov and Kilmer S. McCully. "Review and Hypothesis: Vulnerable Plaque Formation from Obstruction of Vasa Vasorum by Homocysteinylated and Oxidized Lipoprotein Aggregates Complexed with Microbial Remnants and LDL Autoantibodies" Annals of Clinical & Laboratory Science, vol. 39, no. 1, 2009 (link)

8. http://www.westonaprice.org/Adventures-in-Macro-Nutrient-Land.html

9. http://www.westonaprice.org/A-New-Look-at-Coconut-Oil.html

10. http://www.truthaboutabs.com/the-canola-oil-deception.html (Note: this final reference is circular back to the work of Dr. Mary G. Enig from reference [9]. It is included as the place I first heard these ideas.)

Butter and Bread

2010-02-07T11:40:00.003+01:00

I gave up butter so long ago I almost forget when. Almost. In truth it was about 10 years back when I made a lifestyle change including giving up bread, cola and more. Sick and tired in general, and disgusted with my ample computer-guy physique, I decided (realized) I had to make changes.

So much has changed. So much. And yet, surprisingly, today I'm looking forward to bread and butter. My belief in whole-foods has brought me full circle in terms of what I eat, and how.

For lunch I intend to cook an omelet with bread and butter. If you believe the pseudo-nutrition taught the past few decades that meal sounds like," Cholesterol, saturated fat, carbs, and more saturated fats." And yet somehow I'm eating this way, loosing weight and feeling wonderfully healthy. 5kg in the last 3 months or just under a pound a week.

What changed? The bike I ride regularly was bought in 1991. My oldest training logs go back to September 2000. (In five pages of YMCA 'Conditioning Program Cards' I only wrote the year once. Guess I wasn't expecting it to be so long term.) I took up karate about 17 months ago, when I quit smoking, and with it began regular stretching. But three months ago I made a choice (a realisation) and switched to unprocessed, whole foods.

The results have been amazing! My energy level is up. My exercise rate has doubled to tripled because swollen and painful joints are a thing of the past. I can eat throughout the day and yet feel completely in control of my weight and well being. And I can have organic grass-fed butter on whole-wheat bread and it explodes in my mouth like a candy factory might. Although I can't eat a candy factory.

The ironic part is that all this is unintended. I didn't make the switch for health reasons but instead for... political reasons, for lack of a better word. Food Inc. was my proverbial last straw. I realized I could vote with my money and express my ideas by supporting organic and avoiding factory-food. I changed because I was angry with socio-political-economic trends related to the sustainability of our food supply. But what I'm left with is not anger, but health and unexpected happiness.

And now, a very strong craving for those eggs and that butter! Care to join me?

-----

Author's note: Sorry folks, I realized only after that I had already written this post before. But each month I'm becoming more sure of the results, and their cause. To the cause!

She Is Missed

2010-01-08T13:04:00.006+01:00

Christmas marks the turning of a new solar year. Three days after the solstice the days begin to lengthen. Light is brought back to us with the promise of warmth to follow. One week later, the Julian calendar marks the New Year. We all go out and celebrate the symbolic passing of old to new, ironically repeating an ageless cycle. Now, a week on from New Year's, is another symbolic date. And again it feels like more than just a date but a real time of change.

It was a year ago today that my Mom passed away. January 8th, 2009 wasn't a time of light, but a time of darkness.

I spent most of that day flying back to Canada to visit my sick mother. As the plane was taxiing into the gate I was suddenly overwhelmed with odd feelings. I became dizzy and extremely nauseous. For a number of minutes all I could do was pant and hold the air sickness bag. I wasn't air sick.

The customs and baggage lines never felt longer. Cell phones don't work within Pearson airport. Something felt surreal. When I finally got to the transport desk, to catch my shuttle to the hospital, I got told I had a message from home.

That whole experience was like having colour turned off. Like a cloud, so thick and black, parked over me. Daylight was almost night. And try as I have, a part of the nausea and a part of the darkness have remained. It's the place in my soul I used to feel my mother. The part that told me when it was her calling on the phone. That part that told me when she died.

And yet today felt different. A year later and the thick dark cloud is slowly lifting. Like the long sloping line of a warm front, the horizon appears to be clear sky.

Today isn't a colourful day. But it is bright. The world outside is entirely white. A thick fog last night fell onto the trees and buildings as a beautiful pure-white ice. My eyes see it as a symbolic start, a point where darkness begins to give room to light. Today marks my new year.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T11:23:00.004+01:00

Merry Christmas, Season's Greetings, Prettige Kerstdagen, Feliz Natal!

It's been a bitter-sweet year. At times I feel I'm exactly where I was last year. So much hasn't changed; yet nearly everything feels different. For example, a year ago I was feeling old. Very old. I had just quit smoking and started karate and while I didn't have a lot of breath in my lungs my muscles and bones ached and screamed.

Now? Well, I've posted Fatboy Slim's "Old Pair of Jeans" because I'm happy to be wearing an old pair pulled from the very bottom of my wardrobe. I haven't even bothered trying them recently. But not only do they fit again, my belt is on a notch not seen in 2 years. All thanks to exercise, good food and new-found health.

I have too many thoughts about "the year" to cover right now. Suffice it to say that, unlike this time last year, there's a lot I'm hopeful for. Changes have been a long time in coming, but feel just around the corner.

May your New Year also bring positive changes. I wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best!

Funkalized plays live at OT301

2009-12-04T16:48:00.005+01:00

Funkalized tops the charts as my favourite live band in Amsterdam. Last night they played at a club called OT301 and I recorded a few snips of the groove. It hardly does the band justice.

Food Meets Gym (or Food, Meats, Gym)

2009-12-03T11:27:00.007+01:00

The movie Food, Inc. marks what was a turning point for me. The movie, while very good, wasn't shocking nor did it tell me anything new. Instead it was like the straw that finally broke the camel's back. It was the first drop that overflowed the cup. What is shocking to me is how much I like the resulting ring on life's coffee-table.

Since the movie I have changed some shopping habits. I'm simply buying more organic (biologisch) products and more whole foods and vegetables. And once home, I'm actually taking the time to cook proper meals with these great ingredients.

A few weeks ago I also added an "indoor bicycle trainer" to my sports equipment. It clamps the back wheel and allows me to ride my bike at home. At the end of the summer my outdoor riding stopped. By mid-November I had gained 2 kg and I wasn't pleased.

After three weeks I'm lighter by about 3 kg, and that's really nice. But there's much more going on than just weight loss!

The part that surprises me is that I'm exercising at a much higher intensity level than I thought I could do. Years of exercise have taught me my limits. For example, exercise the day after a karate class just isn't possible. Or is it? Indeed, I've been cycling every day while also attending karate regularly and weight lifting. And I suspect it is the food that is making it all possible.

Inflammation is normally the limiting factor, closely followed by pulled muscles. I've got some knee pain, some sore muscles, bad tendons; I'm not superman. But I know that I'm doing more than normal, and feeling less stress on my body.

Exercise is its own reward. This I know. But I'm learning that good eating is also. My motivations were largely principle-driven but the rewards are touching me in other ways. I honestly didn't expect to feel healthier. I didn't expect how much better my food tastes. And I certainly didn't expect to be able to exercise more while seeing both improvements and weight loss.

Is it partly mental, partly a placebo effect? Of course. That's the feedback mechanism. Small improvements in the body have big effects on health and happiness, which in turn motivates results and further small improvements.

What it means to me is that I'm about to hop on my bike for a while. For later, I'm considering hitting the weights then the grocery store. And while shopping, I'll be choosing whole foods and organic sources. Such a simple difference and yet the results are worth much more than I originally imagined.

Who are you?

2009-11-11T13:18:00.006+01:00

It is one of the principle differences I notice between life in Europe and life in North America; in Europe, what you do for a living does not define "who you are". In North America it often does.

I remember, long ago, being proudly told by a Dutchman that you can often find a millionaire, a working man, and a homeless man sitting at the bar together, drinking and talking as equals. My own experience backs this up and I remember when friends I had known for long time periods were surprised to find out I was an engineer. It had just never come up in the course of dozens of conversations. I'm also a "writer" and a "diver" and a "teacher" and these are just as likely to be discussed as the day-to-day activities that pay the bills.

It is my experience in North America, when two strangers meet, that "what you do for a living" is almost certain to be amongst the first three questions discussed. In Holland the question instead is "where are you from?"

Worse still, I remember a friend who completely defined herself by her job. And when, through no fault of hers, she was stricken with multiple layoffs over multiple years, it devastated her.

I always felt that that was wrong. A part of who we are is what we do for money, but shouldn't we all strive to be so much more?

If the bar conversation includes me saying," I've lived and worked in Amsterdam for a number of years now," then a Dutchman would ask," How long?" while a Canadian tourist would ask," What job?"

Regardless, my standard answer is," Many jobs and many years," and the conversation moves on.

And it was with this perspective, because of it, that I was beginning to feel guilty. For days now I've been excited and nervous over a perspective job. Overly so, I was thinking.

I've always been proud of my career. But I've also know that "talking shop" can bore people to death. Anything beyond a 20 second description and people's faces glaze over. But if I am lucky enough to get this new job, I can imagine talking non-stop about work, work, work, work, work.

And so the voice of balance speaks from the back of my thoughts. It reminds me that I can share my enthusiasm, but not to excess. Jargon and shop talk will always bore people outside the office. And too much enthusiasm, shared, can be unwelcome. But being enthusiastic about and motivated by your work is a great thing. I look forward to applying this energy at work, to work!

And if the job comes to be, I look forward to celebrating by buying a round, and then asking my friends how their days went. For in the end, I would rather be the good friend who listened well, than the designer of X or Y. It frees up time for more interesting conversations, about who we really are.

Food, Inc.

2009-11-07T15:10:00.005+01:00

At first I thought," This isn't really in line with my blog and it's purpose..." And then I realized it was. I care about my coffee and how that's made, as a past example. Well now a documentary shows ties between a lot of other issues I care about. My family is errupting in diabetes diagnoses, and I have no doubt as to why. Years ago I gave up, or at least dramatically reduced, a lot of the poisons I was ingesting. Diet Coke is completely gone from my life, as are the Nutrasweet headaches. But the truth of our food supply, and the consequences of it, go so far beyond all that.

I almost posted yesterday about an interesting show on TV, which discussed how early humans evolved based on our food. That agriculture and hunting changed "society" is clear, but changes in diet also changed people physically and genetically. We aren't physically the same animal that first threw a rock at a beast. The show ended with a warning to "think" about what we eat, and what consequences it may have.

Food, Inc. goes further. It shows, often graphically, the problems when food and farming are brought to an industrial scale. It shows what we aren't supposed to know; aren't supposed to think of. It conveys an important message, and I think everyone should take the time to see it.

Sorry the size doesn't fit the blog format. There are 11 parts in total. I really do think it is worth the time to hear the message. I look forward to seeing this movie again, in the theatre, at the upcoming IDFA festival.

Delayed Neutrons

2009-11-05T15:16:00.002+01:00

I learned a life lesson from nuclear physics. To explain, let me tell you about delayed neutrons as they relate to power generation.

Generating power from nuclear fission is about controlling and balancing neutrons. These subatomic particles erupt, two at a time, from each nucleus that fissions. About 0.00001 seconds later the neutrons are slow enough to collide with another uranium or plutonium nucleus and two more neutrons are generated. Controlling a reactor is about ensuring exactly one of each neutron pair is reused to initiate another fission.

Trouble is, when something is capable of doubling (for example, in power) every 0.00001 seconds it is impossible to control. It's a bomb, actually. This is where delayed neutrons become important.

Delayed neutrons are the same as the rest, except they don't get ejected immediately. About one-half of one percent of all the neutrons are delayed, an average of 12 seconds. That tiny portion is enough to skew all the averages. The end result is that fission reactors can indeed be controlled. A tiny portion, gets a tiny delay and the overall falls into control as a result.

And therein is the life lesson. Tiny things make big differences.

Life may feel like it is beyond control. Yet, moments here and there, applied well, can be enough. Enough to be in control rather than bombing out.

The Value of Values

2009-10-15T13:40:00.003+02:00

Our values come from a combination of sources. Partly from what mom and dad taught, partly from school, church, friends, work and experience, our personal values are a result of the sum of the influences from the world around us. They are based on the society we live in, and change with the times we live in.

The values we hold directly affect how we perceive the world, and how we act to it. If your personal values say a thing is very important then you put far more effort into it than less important things. If your values say you are seeing something very wrong then you're more like to react to change it.

The values we choose to live by directly affect our lives. This is not a surprise. But how many of us have actually stopped and chosen our values?

Our overall society does not limit itself to sane and logical things. Values cherished in business school, such as ambition and greed, may be considered deadly vices to your religious leader. Television commercials will entice us towards glutonous triple-decker bacon-cheese grease things that our doctor is sure will kill us. There is no limit to the contradictions.

Doing contradictory things leads to nowhere. Praying for your fellow man on Sunday (or Saturday or Friday) then working Monday to maximize a profit or minimize labour costs is an example.

Do I believe something is the right thing, or was I simply told it was? Is right here, right now, as good as the right thing? If you say you're right, and I stand right behind you, am I right too?

It all depends on what values you hold. Thus, it is such a shame that our society puts such a low value on values.

Raving in Amsterdam

2009-09-27T20:15:00.017+02:00

Overall, I act my age, or at least one close to mine. Sometimes I step beyond the norm and act a completely different age. Thankfully Waking Up In Amsterdam provides just the right venue to blog about it.

They can never take that away

2009-09-19T14:25:00.003+02:00

On my last trip home to Canada I came across the wicker basket that adorned the front of my Mother's bicycle. I remembered the basket for one reason only, a single day's bike ride.

It's a distant memory. One of my most distant. Shortly after I learned how to ride a bike, my Mom and I went for a ride out in the country. We rode along Lakeshore Road, over the canal, and into the farms and orchards of Niagara to get fresh strawberries.

The most memorable part was that the basket ended up overfilled with strawberries, and the jiggling of the basket as we rode meant our prize was liquifying itself as we went. So we had no choice but to (1) stop and enjoy the fresh strawberries along the roadside, and (2) make jam, once home. A great life lesson, it defined a perfect summer day. And it stained the bottom of the basket red.

That old bike is long gone. Mom's gone too. But the basket and stain remained. Until recently.

I had no choice. I couldn't sell this early-childhood memory at our yard sale. I took it home and mounted it on my "granny bike". My God it was useful! So convenient. And like taking a little part of Mom everywhere too.

I couldn't sell it. But I knew such a basket couldn't last on the bike either. It was only a matter of time. Only a matter of months.

Now there's a single zip-tie remaining around my handbar. It reminds me of where the basket used to be. Now I shall forever see the basket that used to be there. It's absence is a constant reminder. A reminder of a beautiful summer day, and the pure joy of cycling, and strawberries, and Mom. The basket is gone, but they can never take away the sweet memory.

Racism?

2009-09-19T11:23:00.003+02:00

In case you don't know, the international media has a lot to say about the healthcare debate in the United States, and it sounds a lot like," Racism... race... racists... black... racism... racists."

I was confused for 8 years as to how and why the U.S. population failed to protest the actions of their government. Now suddenly, change has come to America, and they're standing up and protesting "healthcare".

Why does media like BBC World News have to report that President Obama doesn't think healthcare protests are racially motivated? Honestly? It's because healthcare protests are racially motivated.

I could believe otherwise, if healthcare wasn't so screwed up in the U.S.

A quick check of UN figures shows that life expectancy in the United States doesn't measure up well against the rest of the western world. Thirty-sixth place for women? For men's life expectancy it's twenty-seventh place.

But healthcare in the U.S. does hold one top place. It's the most expensive place in the world to be treated. And not by a little, but by a lot.

To quote Wikipedia," Universal health care is implemented in all industrialized countries, with the exception of the United States. It is also provided in many developing countries."

What it all adds up to, is, it doesn't all add up. Fear of change is one thing, but fear of catching up to the rest of the world? Perhaps it's pressure from big-business, afraid of government control. Perhaps it's partisan and entirely political. But what it looks like... well the way it is being shown, it looks pretty damn bad.

Thank you honey

2009-09-15T14:54:00.004+02:00

Ambrosia artemisiifolia aka ragweed has been a bane in my life, for nearly my whole life. When I first moved to Europe my seasonal hayfever (specifically my allergy to ragweed) got much better. But it's been more than 8 years. Now, the species of ragweed in Amsterdam (and along my favourite biking routes) are ones I'm horribly allergic to.

And thus for the last three days I've been sick. It may as well be a head cold or mild flu. My chest hurts from the hundreds of coughing fits. Sneezing leaves me dizzy. And the thought of "doing something"? Well that's right out of the question.

But I have hopes.

For the past year or so I've added raw (organic) honey to my diet. I believe honey helps boost immune response and improve sugar reactions within the body. And today I read that honey is also thought to keep ragweed allergies at bay.

I ran out of honey four days ago.

Is it coincidence that I stopped eating honey and immediately got hit by ragweed? Probably. But today I braved wind and rain and my own ill health and road my bike to the Nature Store. I've got 3 months of honey now.

Honestly I have no idea whether honey will help or not. Ragweed's pollenation season lasts for 6-8 weeks of September and October. Or until the first frost. But honey can't hurt. And while I'm sitting here with nothing else to do, it makes my coffee so much more delicious.

Today is the day I will go to the gym

2009-09-07T11:34:00.002+02:00

I can talk about fitness or bikes or karate for hours. Similarly minded friends and I can discuss subtle differences in the 4-5 different ways we know to do squat exercises. And when it comes to sharing what I've read, I can usually tell you the two or three "schools of thought" on a subject and which I found worked best for myself. But there's one bit of advice I've never figured out how to share. How do you help motivate another person to start a fitness program?

My final motivation was a nightmare level of stress. A close friend spent months trying to encourage me to go to the gym. I agreed that I needed to exercise. I was fat and always tired. I wanted a change. But day after day I just never went to the gym. It finally took trouble at work. One moring I got to work and within an hour I ended up turning around and going home. I took a few days off. But instead of sitting at home I went to the YMCA; five times that first week, six times the next week.

Is it like that for everyone? Does it take a trip to the bottom, a scare from above, or some other 'near miss' to get us going?

Once started, exercise brings its own rewards. Endoprhines are there immediately. Increased energy comes in just days. A feeling of pride at the results on the scale are there in just weeks. Even just that first night's sleep, post-exercise, can be reason enough to go back to the gym.

Once underway, exercise programs get more complex. That's where knowing about different exercises, nutrition plans and such can be useful. But before that first trip to the gym, all the details can only serve to confuse. Or maybe they can work as seeds? Seeds that spring to goals and then grow into accomplishments.

Are you tired of being tired? Do you know you should be exercising, but don't? Do you have things you look forward to but always feel your body is holding you back? If so then here is my advice... don't think of reps and sets, don't think of lifestyle choices, nutrition changes or any of it. Just think," Today is the day I will go to the gym."

The journey is long. But it begins with a single step. Just go to the gym.

It's Yellow!

2009-09-04T09:56:00.005+02:00

Yellow can mean cowardly. Or snow that shouldn't be played in. But today yellow is a source of pride, as I sit here, staring at my new karate belt.

Eleven months of training and practice have brought me to a point where I can now begin my karate training. Anyone can get a white belt for just showing up. Yellow means you've been preparing and are ready to learn.

Heck, my first lesson hurt for two weeks. The sports injuries I received in my first few classes took most of the year to heal. Some remain. But I have no doubt I'm stronger and fitter than I was. I've discovered flexibility I thought hips couldn't provide and while I'm sure it will leave a bruise, I can block a punch with force.

And now? Am I ready? Well, not according to my own experience, nor the tennants of karate. But at this rate, in just seven to ten more years, I'm going to be good at this.

Summer flying by

2009-09-02T15:35:00.003+02:00

I was walking down the street and suddenly heard a "Whoosh". Something was moving; something big, moving quickly. It was summer.

And it's flying by so fast that autumn is being sucked into it's wake and dragged along.

I was really starting to enjoy the park this year. I've carried my towel across the road a couple of times to stretch out in the sun. And the more of that I enjoyed, the more I wanted. But the weather hasn't been playing along. Cold, cloud, grey winds and dark temperatures. Not sunbathing weather.

It's been a week. A week since the last warm sunny day. Since then Mother Nature has been painting with a different pallet. And then there's the whooshing sound, which is her vacuuming the last bits of summer up.

Bill Cosby Understands

2009-08-24T14:05:00.003+02:00

I had a weird moment last night. I described the experience in a guest post at Waking Up In Amsterdam. But Bill Cosby can describe it even better.

"I said to a guy, I said, tell me. What is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?"

"And the guy said,' Well, it intensifies your personality.'"

"And I said yes, but what if you're an asshole?"

Beautiful Strange

2009-08-17T14:30:00.004+02:00

I think it's a music day today. My words all went to guest posting here.

Actually, I have a lot more words on the ideas expressed there, on feeling Dutch, feeling contectedness and more. To many for now.

This is a song by Bedrock called Beautiful Strange. It popped up on the stereo's randomized playlist and fit the moment.

Call me an optimist, but as I rose early with the new week, I felt an energy in the air. Perhaps today's job application will pan out to something wonderful. Perhaps it's just that today I had the energy and inspiration for a job application?

I can't wait!

2009-08-06T12:55:00.003+02:00

It's just a plan. But it's a pretty good plan so far and I think it's going to happen.

I'm going diving!

It's been a year and a half, since Sharm and since what I think of as "getting a little bent". But Adam and I have been talking lately. We both miss diving. So today I called and reserved tanks. Then I renewed my diving insurance and finalized all the plans.

Saturday we'll find out if our gear still works. Do my regulators still deliver air? Is my dry suit still aptly named?

I'm going diving, and I can't wait!

You asked my politics?

2009-08-05T22:05:00.003+02:00

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

What you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me.

Jesus was a Buddhist. Or at least, He and Buddha would have agreed on a lot. And part of that boils down to "we are all one". Think of it as being part of something bigger.

Western culture encourages our individualism and competition. But if we followed truly Christian values, could any of us see "us" and "them"?

Why do I mention it? I believe in a future, a potential future, in which technology is used to sustainably provide basic human rights to all mankind. A future where it's possible to feed, house and cloth everyone. But it only seems possible if we see the world as "all of us", as one.

Apparently there already exists enough resources to give everyone their share. A chance to grow up, learn, love and live their lives. But money is the main obsticle. It isn't profitable to give to the poor. Nor shall it be. But where is the Christianity?

I think people are working on such a future. I think people throughout societies all over the world are begining to feel the change. The recognition of oneness.

Nothing

2009-07-15T12:10:00.003+02:00

It isn't easy to do "nothing". Sunbathing on a tropical beach may involve hours without motion, but you're still actively doing something. You're sunbathing and resting. The time you're putting in is part of a plan to achieve an end.

To really do nothing is a terrible thing. Totally different from "having nothing you have to do". Having nothing that needs doing is liberating, restful, and a time to choose. Because whenever there is nothing that needs doing there are still things that could be done. There are always things that could be done, and usually when faced with doing nothing, the could-be-done things finally get some attention.

When you're really doing nothing, there are still things that need to get done, and things that could be getting done. But these things don't get done.

And once you really get going with nothing, it's hard to stop. Or is that start? Either way, it's hard to change. After all, name the greatest activity you can think of, then ask "what could be better than that?" Nothing? Exactly. Nothing can always seem better. Although it never is.

Personally, I've had enough of nothing. I've re-re-started the job hunt. I've re-re-started attending karate and exercising nearly every day.

It all goes to proving one thing to me. What's better than nothing? Anything!

Guest Blogging

2009-07-11T14:38:00.005+02:00

I first met my friend Todd at a whiskey tasting competition. Since then, I suspect we've had lots of deep and interesting conversations, although I can't actually recall any of them.

Todd has quite a set of stories. He's lived in Amsterdam almost as long as I have, is retired from the U.S. Army and has an extra impressive tale about walking away from his wheelchair. Most of these stories, and a few others, have been detailed in his blog Waking Up In Amsterdam.

Alas, Todd is on his way home to America. Soon he'll be waking up in Seattle. But while he's gone I'll help out with occassional content from here.

Today I made my first guest post on his blog.

Acceptance

2009-06-19T03:51:00.002+02:00

I'm lost,
I'm worried.
I'm frightened,
And scared.

I'm searching,
I wander.
I'm falling,
Thin air.

I'm looking,
Not Seeing.
Not knowing,
Alone.

I'm floating,
No, falling.
Not growing,
I groan.

So big,
The world is.
So small,
I am.

These people,
All moving.
Not me,
I stand.

Alone,
With no one.
Not caring,
Not scared.

Those people,
All moving.
There faces,
Blank stares.

Happy,
Not caring.
Ignorance,
Bliss.

I've seen,
Those people.
I'll stay here,
Like this.

-----

Circa 1993, the original is undated. I found it with university papers and it was laser printed so not from the 80's dot-matrix era. The title, Acceptance, is about accepting the fact that I'm different. That I stand slightly (ever so slightly) aside from the rest, observing. It's how I felt then and when I came across it today I was touched by how it is still what I feel.

It's not good peotry, but given the reems of old school books now thrown out, it is (now) one of my first/oldest.

I feel numb

2009-06-19T03:07:00.005+02:00

Not good, not bad, I feel numb. Me and my cousin and aunt have just spent the whole day in the basement of my Dad's house. We've sorted a billion boxes of crap in preparation for an upcoming yard sale. And under the crap, a billion memories.

People's exhibit one. I can't believe this was me. Who? How long ago? How? Was I ever this young? And was I really this happy and hopefull?

Okay, this picture was taken the "day after" the first time I ever made-out with a girl. I was on top of the world!

In addition to pictures there were "artifacts" of my past. Heck, my whole past! Every test, every textbook, school project. My mother threw out nothing. But today I thew out most of it.

Someday I'll regret that. For now I'm impressed by the empty spaces in the basement, and the fullness of the garage. And I'm impressed that I have memories dating back 10, 15, 20, and 25 years.

The above picture was from 1985, and last year I was dating a girl born in 1984.

At first I just felt old. But honestly now, I just feel numb.

Time to fly

2009-06-11T10:49:00.004+02:00

I fly today, for the first time in months. Packing is all new. All the handy pre-prepared bits (travel toiletries, etc.) are no longer laid out ready for use. And though I'm only going home to Canada, I can't decide what to bring, what needs packing and what doesn't. *sigh*

All symptoms of a bad week? No, more about symptoms of a bad spring. But I'm hoping this is a time of change. Over the coming weeks there will be a number of birthday celbrations, including for my Dad and for summer. Summer has to be better than the spring. The spring was better than the winter.

I'm hoping this will be a trip for healing. I'll help my Dad and I know he'll help me. And we'll work on the home renovations, get confused about cutting angles on trim pieces, and bond over fixing computer problems.

I see the clock says I have only a short while to the airport. Time for lunch, and packing up this laptop. It's time to fly.

Unrequited

2009-06-06T14:13:00.002+02:00

Unrequited love is love that is not returned. It's a lot like normal love, except where all the highs and joys and goods are turned into arrows which shoot back into the lover's heart to cause pain and sadness and pain and sorrow and pain.

And yet, giving up the unrequited love is itself even more painful. Breathing hurts. Every inhale wants to be a gasp for air, and every exhale has a sob waiting to follow it out.

Happy Birthday Mom

2009-05-31T10:28:00.003+02:00

Happy Birthday, Mom. Today you would be 67. That fact alone makes me cry.

I didn't know how to celebrate Mother's Day this year. I feel like I should be "doing something" for your birthday too. And so I am. I'm going bike riding.

Good or bad, you set an example that I learned from. And thanks to that, I hope to be riding on my 67th too.

Safari Morning

2009-05-27T11:40:00.003+02:00

In England during and after the Second World War anyone could have recognized the sound of a Lancaster bomber. Or a Spitfire! 12 cylinders of Merlin engine, once or four times over. I'm what must be the 0.1% of my generation that can immediately recognize these things by sound. I spent most weekends of my adolesence at the airport. And one of the world's great aviation museums was close by. I volunteered at the annual airshow and knew the sound of every classic plane and engine that regularly flew there.

Even recently, I heard a DC-3 flying over and ran to a window to see it. Beautiful, and fully distinctive in it's own sound.

This morning I impressed myself with something similar, but original. I was laying in bed, still 90% asleep when I heard it...

Buzzzzzz, Bump, BUZZZzzzz, BUzzZZzz, BuzzZZ, Bump, BUZZZZZZZZZ, Bump

"Queen Bee!", went like a shot through my conscious and I was instantly awake. The elephant of the insect word was smashing its way around the curtains, and somehow I knew it from sound alone. It could have been a Merlin engine for all it's distinction. Clearly it was HUGE.

A few gentle tugs at the curtains revealed it really was a queen bee. And it really was Huge!

I got a stick to guide it out the, now fully, open window. She walked onto the end of the stick and rode it comfortably outside. Poor thing probably has a belly full of eggs and no collany yet to tend them. But my bedroom? No. Sorry. There shall be no bee hives in my bedroom.

Chickens, bunny rabbits, and squirrels are about the largest wild animals you'll ever see in Holland. (Yes, we have a lot of parks with "wild" chickens.) Relative to these normally benign surroundings, sleeping with a queen bee is like waking up on safari. It gets you moving in the morning.

Empty v. Full

2009-05-20T11:06:00.005+02:00

The other day a friend of mine told me she felt "empty". Her life was in a state of change and the actual changes were fully beyond her personal control or influence. She looked towards her life plan to see if it gave a clue as to where to go. Alas, this introspection showed her she wasn't actually following her life plan and thus it's anticipated guidance was more an admonishment.

So when you're not sure where you are, where you're going, or the relative bearing to anyplace you'd like to be, the net result is like feeling empty.

I feel full. So full that the billion ideas inside are fighting all at once to get out. And the result is paralysis.

I need change. And I can see how small efforts in any one of a dozen directions can affect the changes I need. But which direction, which efforts? So many options bring too many questions. And the questions fill me, and stop me.

I see opportunities to write. Many. So many ideas need exploring, telling. But none will pay the rent. I see opportunities to change career. I could be an instructor, teacher, coach. I could go apply for a job in that office over there. I don't know what they do and I don't care. But while that's change, is it a good change? There is even, perhaps, a chance to return to a previous job, and employ my years-honed skills. But how far away from my own life-plan is that? A lot.

Empty and full feel completely different on the inside. But they look the same. It's a focus, missing from the face of the individual out of balance.

He Doesn't Care

2009-04-24T14:52:00.005+02:00

A few weeks ago I received my new punching bag. A floor standing "heavybag" intended for boxing and kickboxing practice. I use it to train the skills I'm learning in karate. It makes for excellect cardio excercise and builds strength too. But, it's 100kG weight sits on the floor and transmits much of the force of a punch or kick through to the apartment below me; or so I feared.

When I first got the bag I took multiple steps to mitigate noise problems. One was to add thick foam padding to the underside. Another step was to send a note to the neighbours. I figured that by anticipating the problem I would reduce the severity of noise complaints.

I met the downstairs neighbour yesterday, in the elevator. I introduced myself and asked about the noise.

"Huh? What? Oh, we never hear anything. And we're moving any way."

And we're moving any way?

"Oh, ok," I said," So the new neighbour won't have a noise problem? Good to know."

"Huh? Uhm, sure."

There was a look in his eyes. It said," Do you see these children I'm with? You could launch a nuclear strike and I wouldn't hear it over the noise these little demons make." He didn't say this out loud, since the little demons where right there at his feet. But I'm sure that's what the look said.

I expect that some day soon I'll neet the new downstairs neighbour. Thanks to the look from the old neighbour, I suspect it may well be regarding a noise complaint.

We Can't Kill the Planet

2009-04-22T11:31:00.004+02:00

This is an idea that's bothered me a long long time. "Save the planet." It sounds great, but in truth we can't kill the planet. I don't mean, should not, I mean cannot. All our carbon, all our chainsaws, all our nukes, all together, could not wipe out life on Earth or kill the planet.

Let's be really clear in the future as to what we really mean. Kill the planet? Kill the euphemisms!

There are microbes in the Antarctic ice and bacertia feeding on volcanos at the bottom of the ocean.

We're not killing the planet; we're killing ourselves.

I first heard about the perils of climate change in the mid-eighties. It was included in a presentation which predicted wars for oil, rising sea levels, and doomsday-type chaos. Thus, like the early scientests who used computers to study weather, the message was easy to dismiss as extremist and unrealistic.

Today few of us doubt what nearly all scientists now agree on. And as computer models improve and more variables are added the results remain similar. Similar, except the predictions of chaos keep moving forward in time. Climate swings can apparently happen much faster than originally suspected.

A significant portion of children born today will live a full hundred years and more. But it's now known that ocean currents, local climates, and global patterns can shift in a decade. Thus I humbly submit that while worrying about the planet is noble, worrying for ourselves would be wiser.

Precisely when we'll hit the tipping point that endangers billions of us is still unknown. Until then, let's loose the vague speech. Stop saving the planet. Let's save ourselves!

(Oh, but Happy Earth Day none the less.)

A week of workouts, a day of rest

2009-04-04T14:16:00.005+02:00

I have to thank Betty. Not only have I enjoyed a number of trips with my new omafiets, but she's also inspired me to do some real riding. Indeed, the whole week has been fitness crazy.

My exercise log shows workouts (weight lifting) last Friday and again Wednesday. On Sunday I took my racing bike out for it's first ride of the season. It was a short 15km jaunt that got the blood flowing and the legs working. Tuesday it was a 30km ride. And yesterday I rode 50km in just a bit over 2 hours. Thursday was taken with karate. And I'm not including in the "exercise" the multiple times Betty and I have gone into town.

As well as the obvious increases in riding distances I've measured other improvements this week. Karate class always requires push-ups, which were done all at one go, for the first time. Wednesday I raised the weights by ~25% and still managed to knock out all the reps I intended. That's stunning!

And so with all that, I don't feel bad that my knees have decided to force a day off. Standing up from sitting on the couch requires both hands; only by taking the weight off my legs can I get my knees to bend with certainty. Once up, the feet ache and demand to move to relieve the pressure on them. This shuffling is supported by the back, which reminds me that I was bent over the bike yesterday afternoon and that I have not yet recovered. Stretching the back requires moving the arms which errupt in complaints from the shoulders to my fingers. If it moves, I've probably recently pulled, damaged, or over strained it.

It sounds bad, but every twitch is a mark of pride in a workout well done. No, I couldn't sit on my bike saddle today... not without a whimper or perhaps scream... but tomorrow I will. Or maybe I will exercise the (few) muscles which aren't currently hurting? Either way, I know that will be tomorrow.

Because today is my rest day. What ever it is that's getting done today, has probably already happened. Everything else, is for the future.

I think I'll name her Betty

2009-03-27T12:06:00.006+01:00

It's here, it's here! My new granny bike (omafiets) arrived yesterday!

She arrived with a new (used) rear wheel rim and a bunch of fresh spokes in both wheels. The rust (an anti-theft approach) remains but the bike is quite smooth to ride. Bertus was even kind enough to help me adjust the seat position.

Last week I went out and bought a new chain lock and front and back lights. Yesterday afternoon I picked up a new rear-wheel lock and a bell. (This is Amsterdam where "anything goes", but the police have a zero tolerance policy regarding bikes without lights or bells.) As the sun was setting I finished adding all the accoutrements. It only took a few screws and four zip-ties, but it makes Betty feel like my bike.

And now? It's time to ride.

I think I bought a bike...

2009-03-13T15:46:00.005+01:00

I love my mountain bike. It`s a Kona Kilauea and was the Bike of the Year when I bought it. I used it for racing for years and have not only kept it maintained, but flourished expensive upgrades on it. And in addition to being expensive, every part of the bike shares an important racing-bike property; they can all be quick-released from the bike in a second. The wheels, the suspension fork, the seat and post, the lights, computer, titanium bits... it is impossible to lock securely. And so here in the bike theft capital of the world, I don`t ride my bike much.

I have often explained to people that bikes aren`t purchased in Amsterdam, they are meerly rented for a limited period. Collectively we share a pool of bikes that slowly rotate owners through a dance usually performed in the wee hours of the morning.

And last night I got approached for a bike. But in a slightly different way that makes it all seem more legitimate than normal. I met a man I`ll call a bike-repair entrepreneur. He was riding his own bike down the street when he suddenly stopped, jumped off, and picked up another bike from the side of the road. Then he grabbed a lock off his bike and started to chain up the bike he`d just picked up.

I was walking past at the time and had to stop with curiousity. He explained he repairs abandonded bikes and sells them again. Abandonded? He pointed out the huge bend in the back wheel. It had been run over by a car, apparently. And instead of locked with the other bikes in the rack, it had been left unlocked and laying along the side of the road.

Some time today Bertus (the bike repairer) will return to that spot, unlock the bike, and he will walk it home. In the coming days it will get a new rear wheel, a few little fixes, and then one more city bike will be back in service. In my service!

In Dutch it`s called an omafiets, which means grandma-bicycle. No gears, no hand brakes, wide handlebars and an upright position; I`m going to feel so Dutch going through town. I can`t wait!

Perhaps I should send a message to Bertus, just to make sure he doesn`t forget, I`ve got first dibs on the new omafiets.

I've got nothing to say

2009-03-12T11:19:00.004+01:00

This blog has always been, primarily, about writing. I take my ideas and practice conveying them with written words.

Today, however, I have no ideas. I want to write. I want to blog. But beyond," I'm okay," I don't have anything to convey. I've got nothing to say.

Perhaps I'm living too much inside. Not just inside my apartment, but inside my head.

I have been out. I've been dancing with the glitterarty. I've been social with my friends. I've even escorted a lovely woman through town for drinks and food. I've exercised and been to the dojo. I've kicked and been kicked. But the best description I can come up with is that it's largely been on "auto-pilot".

Not to say I'm ignoring my friends! In a conversation, one-to-one, I'm there. But the surroundings aren't. The area beyond my friend, or laptop, or book just disappears.

I'm looking for the words. Just the right way to express the feeling. It isn't numbness, it's not emptiness. It isn't loneliness or longing. It's not about sad or happy or busy or bored. Is there a word for "inside-ness"? Is there an english word for the feeling of being protected inside your head regardless of where your body is?

So I wanted to blog. I wanted to write. I wanted to open a small window to the inside-ness and reach tentatively outside. But I've got nothing to say. My mind, like this post, is full of words but without a point.

Including Moderation

2009-03-10T12:37:00.004+01:00

"Everything in moderation, including moderation." It's an idea at the front of my mind lately. And I have a good example. The other day I went to McDonald's for a burger. It was my first trip there in 6 months.

I've been on a wonderful health kick for the past few months. I started karate with fitness goals. I now spend multiple days a week exercising and increasing my fitness, so that I can do better with the karate.

But the motivation included some ideas such as giving up McDonald's. In retrospect that's just silly! A trip every few months for a greasy burger will not affect my health. However continuously denying myself a tasty treat can serious affect my motivation.

As always, the idea is "balance". And so most days it's about home-cooking, veggies, vitamins and satiety. But other days, at 2am and in the rain, hunger will be satisfied via the most expediant method. If that's McDonald's then so be it.

The Discovery Channel

2009-02-16T11:22:00.002+01:00

It should be a movie... Discovery Channel, The Movie. It would no-doubt be about an asteroid (lonely and misunderstood) imparting its kinetic energy into the Earth (flashy and ignorant).

Things the Discovery Channel makes me wonder about include:

How do we account for the carbon footprint of an asteroid? Is it the responsibility of the country it impacts or does the UN spread the accounting amongst numerous nations? Does the Kyoto treaty have a contingency for this?

Based on major asteroid impacts happening every hundred million years or so, can I resume a careless use of plastic? What's 3 degrees of climate change compared to a 600 degree blast wave?

If an asteroid were to strike the Earth, how much more dangerous would this make fishing for crab in Alaska?

The "Ice Road Truckers" are hauling supplies to arctic oil drilling and pumping sites. But the show before this one showed how wind turbines and electric cars meant no need for oil. So is all the oil going to be for the "Overhauled" 7-litre engines a la Foose?

Of all the shark attacks annually, what proportion of them are on Discovery Channel camera operators?

If I use a very small and efficient motor, to get somewhere I was going to walk to, am I being Green, ingenious, or lazy?

How do I get one of those jobs blowing things up???

Why is modern science in the hands of "amateur inventors", "backyard tinkerers", and "hollywood special effects artists"? What happened to the scientists?

If my dad and I get together, build stuff, and argue a lot, can we have our own show? Can we end each show by blowing something up?

If Hitler's alien technology was transfered to the United States at the end of the war, then where's my jet pack? There should be wearable jet packs by now.

Get on with it!

2009-02-09T13:26:00.004+01:00

I took an hour today and read Johnny's Blog for the first time. A friend of many years and a blogger of many months, Johnny only sent the link to the "secret blog" last week.

I read through a few months of inspiring posts devoted to environmental responsibility and his current "career change". I'm now inspired to do more than read a blog post or two. I'm inspired to go out and improve something! To improve myself!

And really, right now, that's pretty freakin easy to do. Doing anything would be an improvement.

I still haven't been to karate. I feel so old and tired and weak that I can't motivate myself at 7pm to hop on the bus and go hurt myself. Well, it's time.

I haven't even been exercising properly at home. I should do that next. As in, right after typing this. I need to practice my kata for karate. And some stretches and exercises ought to improve the chances of going to the dojo tonight.

And when I'm done that I'm going to do a bit of reading. Starting with the mail. Open the envelopes, pay the bills, sort the rest. Then Pratchett. I've earned it and will devote an hour or more to finishing "Small Gods" before moving on to the remaining unread tomes.

Note, even when inspired to self-improvement I still don't plan time to look for work. I'm not there yet. The "moments of peace" have been few and far between. But I think I can litterally kick the blues away. The hope being that tomorrow I'll feel, better than this.

Finally a moment...

2009-01-24T10:01:00.003+01:00

I'm here to report that I have finally felt a moment of peace.

It took a long time to figure out what it was, to find the word. It wasn't that I suddenly realized I felt happy. I didn't. But I didn't feel the pain either. There are challenges and bad times before me and behind, but this moment felt neutral. There is so much to be done, and yet nothing needed doing right then. After arriving home feeling sick yesterday, I finally felt well, and had slept.

And for a moment, peace felt good.

Thanks to Zeus the dog for making the cancelled flight in Frankfurt more tolerable. And thanks to all of you who have sent hugs and condolences via all the messages, emails and posts. They genuinely conveyed their messages and brought me strength in hard times.

Now? Well now there's simply a peaceful Saturday morning. Soon? Soon there will be the job hunt, moments of grieving, negotiations for temp work, signing up for Dutch class, returning to karate, and catching up with friends. A mixed bag.

Hopefully, every now and then, for a moment or two at a time, there will be more moments of peace.

In Loving Memory

2009-01-09T20:15:00.004+01:00

Judith Ann D'Antonio passed away peacefully at the St. Catharines General Hospital January 8, 2009 in her 67th year. Beloved wife of Ralph D’Antonio and loving mother of son Morgan. Also survived by her sister Sandra (& Bob) Channell and brother Rusty (& Karen) Williams. Judy was predeceased by her parents Mr. And Mrs. H.B. Williams.

Adored aunt of Missy (& Joe) Roma, Cody Channell, Jessica Crawford and Chris Crawford. Great aunt to Sammy, Max, Brody and Caden. Judy will also be missed by a special group of childhood girl friends.

Judy was a former schoolteacher and over the years taught in schools in St. Catharines, Niagara Falls, Chatham and Burlington. Judy was a member of St. Julia’s Church.

Judy had many hobbies and interests. She loved crafts, decorating, reading, music, cooking, movies and was an avid traveller. Judy won several local cooking contests and sang in the choirs of her local churches in the aforementioned cities.

Judy is resting at Darte's Funeral Home in St. Catharines, ON.

Visitation Saturday and Sunday 2-4 and 7-9 Jan 10/11

Service to be held at St. Julia’s on Monday at 11am

In lieu of flowers, her family encourages donations to the Heart and Stroke Foundation or a charity of your choice.

Special thanks to the doctors, nurses and staff at the General Hospital especially the staff on Mills 4 for their caring, understanding and sympathy.

----

I love you mom. Thank you. I owe all that I am to you.

Old and New

2008-12-31T12:42:00.004+01:00

I'm told that the tendancy to use the New Year to consider your life is a cultural one. Taken for granted in North America, people make resolutions for improvement. I think I've mentioned, even here, that I like to stop and consider things more routinely. But this tradition of contemplation and New Year's resolutions still makes for a great time to talk about such things.

Spend your year asking your friends for "the meaning of it all" or such and you'll be labelled as melancholy. Discussing resolutions, however, is more socially acceptable. Although even here, resolutions are often personal, and responses and comments need to be strictly limited.

Person1: "I'm planning to hit the gym more and get in better shape."
Person2: "Oh, I know a great gym in my neighbourhood and they are running a special right now."

This is socially acceptable.

Person1: "I'm planning to hit the gym more and get in better shape."
Person2: "So you're feeling fat, eh? Good, I didn't know how to mention what I'm stuck looking at."

This is not.

It's a shame, really, that we don't discuss more openly our motives behind things. Resolutions are proposed solutions to problems in our lives. We discuss those, but rarely the underlying motivating problem. Oh well.

In the coming weeks and months I resolve:

To study my Dutch and attempt the tests to show I know it because there are things I want to do, but I need a passport to accomplish them.
To go back to the gym, because my cardio fitness is lacking and I would like to loose some fat.
To get a good job, because in a couple weeks I'll be unemployed and that's probably not good.
To visit my mom, because her health is bad and I should be there for her.

There's more. Personal stuff. But that's the main part.

This really is a time of change for me. It isn't just due to the calendar or a holiday. It's actually kind of crazy, the total amount of change coming at once. But that reminds me of one more "resolution" I've choosen.

I resolve to keep smiling.

Happy New Year everyone! Don't stay up too late tonight. ;-)

An Eye for an Eyelash

2008-12-28T12:18:00.002+01:00

CNN is making me feel sick this morning. Please, as citizens of this shared world, pay attention to what's happening in Gaza. Have an opinion and speak it.

My opinion is that after decades of creating the world's largest prison, Isreal is trying to combat criminal activity in that prison with indescriminate airstrikes. AIRSTRIKES people! Not Seal missions infultrating the enemy HQ and capturing the leader... airstikes with massive bombs dropped from F-16s onto apartment blocks in a prison filled with innocents.

Meanwhile an evangelistic preacher on Larry King Live is talking about "How to serve God" or some other version of "Here's what God wants You to Do." I don't spend a lot of time listening to the message of many evangelists, but what I notice is it is all about the individual and God... or the individual and Jesus. Never about the individual and everyone else.

Do you want to know how to please God? Start by being good to everyone else. Done, period. Every religion, every denomination and every chapter/branch/sect agrees. That's the start.

I think, if we use military aircraft to bomb women and children born into a prison, we aren't ready to know any more about "what God wants."

Merry Christmas to all....

2008-12-26T13:31:00.003+01:00

My apartment smells so much like Christmas that I keep expecting my mom to step into the living room at any moment. It's the turkey carcass boiling into soup that really makes the difference. And believe it or not, I really made the turkey.

Cooking the turkey is a bit of a special thing in North American culture. I think traditionally passed on from mothers to daughters, it can include great conflict when passed to a daughter-in-law. People outside or new to the family just don't know the right way to do it. Their stuffing is always wrong. Good, often delicious, but wrong.

Such are the mysterious ways of the turkey. Oh, and more so, the stuffing.

Men learn these things from books. It's written down in little formulas... so many minutes per pound for turkey A, given a maximum weight less than X and a stuffing_variable set to yes. Then you wait (ignoring time) until you get that rich "turkey almost burning" smell and you're done. Easy.

And delicous.

I hope everyone enjoyed celebrating the spirit of Christmas (eating too much with family/friends) as much as I did. Merry Christmas all.

Poverty part 2

2008-12-14T16:06:00.004+01:00

I reread my Enjoy Poverty post and it made me think. It tied in nicely with some of the other conversations I've had this weekend... perversity, revolution, glass making. Renzo was derided as "cruel" because his message was to tell the poor to "enjoy poverty" since their situation wasn't going to change.

How much more cruel is it to tell the poor that if they work hard enough, they too can be millionaires?

Sedarisklas

2008-12-08T10:49:00.003+01:00

I heard my first bits of David Sedaris' writing just recently. Specifically, his bit describing Sinterklas is, in my opinion, hillarious.

I've seen it. It's true. I never know what to say. It's like Santa, right? Well, no. But he's about Christmas and wearing red and has helpers. Written back in 1823, "Twas the Night Before Christmas" could never have held this many politically incorrect references. The Dutch have had hundreds and hundreds of years to desensitize themselves to this tradition.

I've even seen it myself. As I said, I never know what to say, so I asked to take their picture.

There is an absurdity to it. Which makes me think of the work of David Sedaris. I would love to write in that style. Except. Is it a style or just clinical depression? Either way it sounds funny. I wonder if he has a different personality he puts on at night or on weekends? I hope he does. I don't think I would want to live my life depressed for the sake of writing better. Especially since writing makes me happy. So I would constantly be hitting writer's block... I'd write, feel happy about it, not be able to write more, then get depressed and write about it. Oh my.

Maybe I'll just stick to writing my own way. Stories about squirrels and chipmunks are for David to write. I'll just let you know about the funnier bits. Like Sinterklas and his 6 to 8 black men.

Rabbit Rabbit

2008-12-01T09:29:00.002+01:00

Happy December!

Episode 3: Enjoy Poverty

2008-11-28T11:40:00.006+01:00

Renzo Martens stikes me as a bit of a prat. After sitting through his documentary film, Enjoy Poverty, I don't think I like him. But I did like his film. Or specifically, I'm glad I've seen it.

His movie makes you think. Cruel or kind, accept or reject, his message is clear and needs to be heard. The poor of Africa will remain poor. He shows how workers' children starve and foreign aid organizations protect the natural resources but not the people. To be employed on a plantation in the Congo is to be enslaved to a life of poverty.

His suggested solution? If it isn't going to change, then let's convince the people to enjoy their poverty. He asserts that their poverty is itself a natural resource, a commodity bought and sold by outside interests, and that since it isn't going away everyone should just try to enjoy it.

Scenes alternate between Renzo with a generator and portable neon "(Please) Enjoy Poverty" sign and scenes of poverty, starvation, death and rotting bodies.

"Is it art or is it a documentary? That is for you to decide." So said the announcer who opened the viewing last night at the International Documentary Festival of Amsterdam. Well it is a documentary. About a bratty little "artist" who travelled the Congo and filmed. He filmed Africa. And he self-indulgently filmed himself. And he filmed the other photographers who in turn photographed him and his sign. And as you sit in the audience, you get it. It's not subtle.

There are serious problems with the way poverty is handled. Our old solutions are now institutions and they largely support themselves; not the poor. We either need to change things, or we need to convince a lot of people, to Enjoy Poverty.

Just Do It

2008-11-26T16:44:00.000+01:00

Dance! Express your self through the motion of your arms. Move your hips, first quickly and then slowly, just to prove you know how. And step. Move those feet Charlie Brown. Step away from the wall and join the crowd. It won’t hurt, much.

Or better yet, dance naked in your living room!

I like to move at the club, but nothing beats the total freedom of the living room. No judgement, no worries, no bad moves. Just dance. Movement for the sake of movement.

Dancing at home is completely spontaneous. As planned as the random music. It doesn’t usually start naked, expect perhaps after a particularly rockin shower. But the moves quickly build up heat, and no one else is around, so why not shed a little? Before you know it your spirit is in complete control of your body. There’s a 97% chance you look a fool. But that’s not relevant for as we all know, if a fool dances in a forest and no one is around to tease him, then he’s not really foolish, simply dancing.

Let's say it was a dream...

2008-11-24T00:15:00.003+01:00

We met at the start of a walk. And as we went I was in awe of the way you moved. You didn't walk forward, you spun and twirled and cartwheeled your way. And I followed.

And I picture that on the way the path became thick with trees and rocks. Yet still you managed to twirl and dance. Each tree unheaded, yet moved past like a dancer moves with their partner. Imagine how happy is the cork to bob in the river. It cares not, knowing it will never sink. Oh what pretty patterns it makes.

You told me not to worry. To just be in the now, and not worry of the futures. And I looked at you and saw all that is beautiful in the universe.

Our path became sloped. The land rose to one side and dropped on the other. And yet you danced. A boulder, a rock, a hole, a branch, all these, and you dance. Some how I watch you move through this maze, carefree. Twirling and telling me not to worry. To be in the now. To stop planning the future.

And I look at you and know you must be mine.

And our path becomes a ledge. I move against the rock and wish I'd brought better shoes. The drop on the other side is clearly deadly, and yet you twirl. I look at you and cannot believe. And you look back and cannot understand.

I step forward and the rocks give way. The ledge is in two and we are apart. I cannot proceed. You look at me, confused by my shock and horror. You hold out your hand. When I give you my hand you pull me forward, I have no choice and my foot goes...

Into soft ground covered in grass. We're standing in a beautiful field of soft grass and sun. Holding hands.

"We're standing in a field," I say.

"Well of course. Where did you think we were?"

"Oh, I was just uhm... not listening properly, Kedves. Sorry."

Then a subtle tickle in my head. A spark of an idea, half thought, half felt. "There are many ways to see it. This is what I choose to share. Focus on the what is, rather than the might-not."

Baby Love Child, Groovey Love Child

2008-11-21T02:54:00.002+01:00

"I know you love me most, no one else take my place."

This song makes me cry. Don't know why.

Dear Mr. Gates

2008-11-11T09:54:00.004+01:00

Dear Mr. Gates,

Please accept this posting as my official request to have a week of my life back. I would either like the time fully returned to me or payment in lieu for IT services. I am an ICT professional so I expect proper rates to apply.

I'm sorry I don't have a detailed accounting of my time, but I have been fully engaged, for more than a week, with the sole goal of installing your Microsoft Windows XP computer operating system. In that time I have booted from my legitimately purchased Windows DVD perhaps 2 dozen times. This is not easy, since your software doesn't recognize my hard drive. Once inside your software, via the DVD I have selected the option of using the Recovery Panel a number of times. But the Recovery Panel looks an awful lot like the C:/ prompt. Staring at it doesn't ever fix the problem. I've loaded the actual operating system at least 8 times now, half as a repair to an existing installation and half starting with a disk format and reload from scratch. Thanks to these reloads I've loaded service packs one and two at least four times. And I've loaded service pack three once or twice.

The problem is the software. The basic OS works. SP1 seems to install and work. SP2 installs. But once it asks me to reboot at the end, it rarely returns.

Isn't it amusing when a software upgrade wipes out the files the OS needs to boot? Haha, very good, got me there.

If upgrading the software must destroy my system, then can you please stop presenting me with minute by minute reminders to download or install updates? Or even better, could you consider producing software that actually works? Based upon the amounts you owe me, for my time, and no doubt also everyone else, please sell your next software release for $1 and include a shiny new $100 bill in each box. Failing this, please compensate me for my time. Or failing this, please at least allow me to use my computer again. If there is a ransom you wish paid, I have not received the note.

Your humble slave in economics,
Morgan

Pain and Growth

2008-11-05T11:39:00.003+01:00

Last night I was on the floor, in an odd position with my partner, telling her," That hurts, keep doing that." There might have been a "harder" in there somewhere too.

No, don't send the children out of the room. I'm speaking, of course, of the stretching exercises from karate class. It's frightening to stretch muscles that, if pulled, can end a baseballer's career. Especially when you're as inflexible (physically) as I am.

The stretching was tough, but the kicking hurt more. I learned all kinds of new things, such as, did you know that kicking hurts more than being kicked? I would never have guessed this, but as I limped home I discovered this truth. The thirty or fourty hard kicks to the mat on the wall left far more damage to myself than the few times a training partner tried to knock the wind out of me.

Hmmm. Wait, that's misleading. The training partner wasn't trying to hurt me. But the sensei actually separated us and had her practice alone. The goal of "kick forwards and place your foot at your partner's stomach" was instead practiced as "kick forwards". A foot suddenly flew past my nose. The next went towards a knee. A few went for the previously-mentioned difficult-to-stretch area.

I'm learning how to jump backwards very effectively!

This morning I'm relishing all the painful bits. They show me where I was weak but am now growing. A long-time exercise masichist, I take pleasure from this. So it caught my eye when Google presented a page where a person asked if they could learn karate without pain. Huh? Perhaps with a Wii. Like learning to drive in your living room or exploring the ocean from a book.

The little painful bits in our lives are all opportunities for growth. Be it muscular or mental, success could be defined as being able to see the good that follows each of life's pains. It's good practice and a good life skill because rarely are the worthwhile things found along the easy path.

Three Little Words

2008-10-08T22:51:00.006+02:00

Three little words can,
mean a world of difference between two.
Three little words can,
hold or strangle; bind or repel;
mean so much or so little.

She told me in Hungarian culture,
the three little words rarely pass lips.
The goal is to show it,
it and "not just say it".

And so I've never told Her.

Instead I unviel the table,
because, it's Wednesday. And that's enough.
Because I want to show Her,
in my every move and word,
how I feel for Her.

And because I know She feels,
the same about me.

In the Princess Bride,
the stableboy had "As You wish."
Well I wished for She,
perfect ying and yang.

So I try to show,
those three little words in my every way.
It's in what you do,
not just what you say.

(Author's note: I wrote this entirely as prose. It was only on the proof-read that I realized that a "poetic style" of punction and spacing was more deserved. I changed but a word or two. It's not intended to rhyme or keep a good beat.)

So Much

2008-09-21T10:45:00.002+02:00

A day? What a difference a month makes! And a busy month at that.

Logistically, it's been busy. Two week trips to Belgium to teach, a week of teaching in Holland, and a few days in Denmark for a trade show again. This week I work four days then I'm off to Canada for a week.

Spiritually and emotionally, it's been busy. That dinner date went well. I'm cooking for two a lot more often. Alas I'm also worried for my Mom's health. Thus the trip so soon back to Canada.

Physically, it's been busy. I spent two-weeks sick with only a half-day off work. Over the same time-period I've gotten back into nutritional and fitness and I'm happy with the progress. And even better than that, I'm quitting smoking!

I have no doubt it's all over TV advertisements in North America, but I hadn't ever heard of Champix (tm) before meeting last week with my doctor. "Take these pills, keep smoking a week, then take these stronger ones and stop smoking." It was pressented to me as that easy, and I think it might actually be!

At least the first week is easy. "Take these pills and keep smoking." Too easy. But each day I've noticed I'm smoking less and getting less out of each attempt. I say attempt, because for most of my life the craving for a cigarette has been immediately satisfied by, a cigarette. Champix blocks that. So cigarette breaks are becoming pointless. Thankfully at the same time this medication reduces the urge to smoke, leaving me happy with the idea of soon being smoke-free.

Smoke-free, back to exercise, eating well? Gosh, if I'm not careful I may soon find myself "healthy"!

The Good Crystal....

2008-08-11T16:39:00.004+02:00

Yesterday's dinner was worth pulling out the good crystal for. I even pulled out the dining room table, which normally rests against the wall doing its impression of a desk.

I didn't hit the "New Post" button with the intention of making this a musical post. But my PC suggested this song as I started writing. It fits.

A Good Day...

2008-07-30T13:55:00.003+02:00

I haven't been discussing it here, but life's been stressful lately. Last week it seemed to me the whole of creation was gathering only to piss me off. Everything was going wrong and the stress levels kept rising.

Taxes were long overdue, and I was collecting data for how to report my accountant for fraud. My phone is damaged and the new one is 400% later than the 2 days I was told it would take. And work... well a couple of narrow perspectives got together and completely missed the point, but did plenty of collateral damage elsewhere.

Today however, I made a phone call and found out that 18 months of stressing, emails, phone calls, and sleepless nights are now over. My 2006 taxes have been filed! I don't even know what the submission says... part of a long story about my accountant... but it's in, and on the ultimately-final thrice-extended deadline.

*sigh*

And the phone company emailed today to say my phone just left the warehouse. So now it is only 2 days away. Saturday I can pick up my parcel at the post office. Another "Blogger" phone, of course.

There's still lots more going on... more tax things to do and work problems to solve. But all the little bits that make up the whole are coming together. Those three piles of papers go to the new accountant. These two emails get printed and brought to discuss the issues. Teaching materials for Belgium are being sent to me. I think it's actually all going to work!

So after sending emails and messages to a number of friends and family, I thought I'd put it here too; I'm having a good day!

What's Music Without Sound?

2008-07-22T19:28:00.004+02:00

Nope, this isn't going to be deep. Just a little prayer of thanks. And since electronics were involved, what better way to pray then via the 'net?

Today wasn't a bad day. It wasn't particularly intense, but dense. Busy and constantly so. So when I got in from the office a few minutes early I felt no guilt about sitting for a moment and just enjoying the stereo. I picked a good song and decided to crank the volume.

It almost sounded good. But mostly it sounded, bad. My subwoofer wasn't working!

I would be an excellent writer if I could convey that moment of emotion when a bachelor thinks his stereo is broken. Alas, I can only tell you it was like heartbreak and pain and loss, with contempt and anger, and of course denial.

The Engineer inside awakes. " Huh? I thought we were done work. Wha? The stereo!?!"

Starting at the back end of the signal path, I checked the subwoofer. Checked its connection to the stereo. Checked the stereo. I checked the wires from the stereo that wrap 'round the room to the computer. Wiggle wiggle, check check.

There are three stereo-plugs from the receiver to the PC. I pulled the first one...

The front speakers died. I put the plug back. I pulled the second one...

The back speakers died. I put the plug back. I pulled the third one...

Nothing happened. It was the center-channel and subwoofer connection. The center-channel speaker wasn't in use and the sub wasn't booming, so no surprise so far. I put the plug back.

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

And my face had a smile on it.

I'm listening to the Beatles. Like I remember it with headphones, except this is my stereo simply with all the speakers working again. Life is good. One more problem solved.

Musical Mood

2008-07-19T18:44:00.004+02:00

Synchonicity is the grouping of coincidences. Just after finishing that last post, my computer picked a song that I like. But I didn't know what the song title was. So I was shocked to see it was "Ice Queen". Here's Within Temptation....

Thinking of Omar makes me think about System of a Down. They make Within Temptation sound really quite soft.

I chose the Lego version of that video (well done!) to make it more family friendly. ;)

Working with the military for a week was a blast. Military bases look and feel and smell the same every where. And since I spent a lot of time in my youth staying on bases it brought back lots of great old memories. Thoughts like," Oh I'm so glad I don't have to [enter painful activity here] any more."

Lynyrd Skynyrd would be the best way to summarizes the feeling.

Oh hey, this week's mail brought along a treat. TicketMaster sent me my ticket for Snoop Dogg, coming to Amsterdam in late September.

Snoop is famous for really enjoying his trips to town.

Mostly A Good Week

2008-07-19T17:20:00.007+02:00

That was a good week. I spent 3 nights/4 days away in Belgium to train NATO soldiers (mostly Air Force) on the intricit subtlties of my employer's software. The town of Mons is lovely to look at! So nice to walk through. So boring to stay in.

But the boring evenings were made up for three-fold by (1) Terry Pratchett, (2) French cuisine, and ~~(4)~~ uhm, (3) Belgian beer! The days needed no making up for. I was teaching people whom I very much enjoyed being with and working with. Lunches were always fun and class participation was high. I even got to attend a change of command parade and congratulate the new sector commander.

But amongst the enjoyable times, there was also a very sobering and nasty moment thanks to the BBC. Previously I was unaware of Omar Khadr, a Canadian citizen, who was visiting relatives in Afghanistan when it was invaded by the United States. On July 7th, 2002, U.S. soldiers attacked Omar's location... a "terrorist camp." He was the only person to survive (although gravely wounded) and arrested for the "murder" of the one U.S. soldier lost in the attack. Since that time, Omar has been held and tortured and has spent roughly 1/3 of his life now in Guantanamo Bay. A third? That's right, because Omar was only 15 years old when he was arrested.

Omar is the last Western citizen still in custody in Gitmo. Why?

Just incase Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper reads Blogger... let me state for the record that this makes me incredibly angry, ashamed, and quite frankly, left me feeling sick! Mr. Harper, I'm now feircely looking forward to voting against you! And I think this time around I'll do some campaigning around my expat communities, making sure Canadians are registered to vote. Until then, be warned that by writing this blog I've now informed my mother. You're in trouble mister!

The timing of this information was ironic. Just hours earlier I had stopped at an old palace in Grand Place (the town square) and read a plaque commemorating how Canadians liberated Belgium in the First World War. The last shots of the war were fired there, November 11th, 1918.

In happier news, Happy Birthday to the Ice Queen! July 17th was cellebrated the world over by people thankful to know her.

Inspite of a few rough patches in the middle, the training week went well. It ended on a good tone and included me staying on base a bit past class-time to enjoy some 1 Euro beers with the Comms guys. They were fun!

Finally home again, apparently for 4 weeks now, all I can say is that it is, of course, great to be back! 10 hours of sleep and a slow, quiet day have helped rejuvinate this old body. I'm hoping the clearing sky and improved weather will stay around while I head out tonight and rejuvinate the spirit. ;-)

Negative Energy

2008-07-13T11:17:00.003+02:00

After a long period of nearly-manic positive energy there comes an energy low. But the resulting positive low is a time to relax. There's no guilt about "doing nothing" and the rest time feels well deserved.

And then there's negative energy. And after a long period of negative energy comes an energy low. But its a negative energy low. Never enough sleep. Always feeling restless. So much to do it plays on your mind while you should be sleeping.

Events have converged on me. No single event is significant, but it seems significant that everything that's happening feels like its happening to me. Taxes are the worst! I've been trying for a month to get my papers from the old accountant who was supposed to file my taxes. I've got only a couple weeks left to get them to a new accountant who shall file my taxes. And I'm traveling all this coming week.

I'm getting everything handled; it will all get done. But it just isn't going smoothly.

The town in Belgium (Mons) I'll be teaching in this week is all booked up. So no one hotel had rooms available each night I'll be gone. The old accountant has told his office staff to get my papers to me urgently. But only after 3 weeks of calls and emails and waiting. I've found a bunch of missing papers the landlord needed, but have now waited 1-1/2 months for the repayment she should have sent by now.

Am I writing this to complain? No way. I'm writing this now, because I can feel the end of it. A new cycle of positive energy is returning. I feel a lot more in control of "things" than just a few days ago. By next weekend I'll have papers delivered to my new accountant, I'll have finished a fun week of teaching, and the full moon will be welcoming me home with no travel scheduled for a month. Perfect!

Now if only I could figure out a way to keep the tax papers organized while still managing to vacuum and clean around them.

Tonight, R.E.M.

2008-07-02T22:09:00.001+02:00

Live from Westerpark. Across the street from home.

What Else Is New???

2008-06-30T14:12:00.003+02:00

I wish I had spent more of last week smiling and relaxed. Clearly not all is perfect in the world today. But it's not so bad either. There have been two exciting new additions to my family, and I could brag about the shopping at great length!

First, congrats to my new baby cousin who escaped to the world last week. June 25th, 8 pounds, 3 ounces. Ouch! Babies are (of course) ugly little parasitic creatures, but this one has great eyes. And since I never have to babysit, I look forward to watching him turn into a person over subsequent trips.

The second new addition is a little more to my taste... a shiny new HP Laptop! Far quieter than a baby, but thanks to Winders Vista (XP I'll miss ya) it is only slightly less tempermental.

I left Holland with my personal laptop and a small idea of expanding it's memory and hard drive while away. Instead, I ended up with a dead machine who's parts couldn't be replaced due to their age. So I did the best I could and bought an emergency replacement. Yesterday I saw the same laptop advertised locally for just 799 Euros. I paid 599 dollars. That's 375 Euros or less than half. Not bad for a complex purchase decision made in <5 minutes.

They're not new, but I'm also happy to report I've been reunited with my skies, after seven years apart.

The week I decided I was moving the Europe I bought myself some new skies. That was the end of 2000. I used them that winter and once the next, but only in Canada. And they've been collecting dust in my parents' basement since then.

I felt foolish at the airport holding skies, but now I'll be able to plan a few Alpine ski weekends (in addition to the compulsary scuba-diving vacations.)

Indeed, everything in life right now is about looking to the future. There's lots of good work and work-travel coming up. There's diving to do, and concerts to see, and ski trips to plan with friends. And hopefully, just maybe, there'll be a little more time for blogging too.

At the top of my list of important things to do... a lot of dusting, and watching a few few nights worth of sappy movies. The dust has been building that last few weeks, and I could do with the a little dose of sappy.

Hardly a Honeymoon

2008-06-30T11:51:00.002+02:00

It was a long week, but I'm glad I went. As well as seeing my parents, and relatives, it gave Nancy and I a chance to push the fast-forward button and see the future. And the future wasn't pretty.

The "math" roughly works out as "knew eachother for four weeks", then "booked the trip", then "got to know eachother for four more weeks." I told a friend afterwards that I felt stupid for rushing so quickly. They told me that at least I had tried, and that was the important part.

And I agree. I don't really feel stupid for trying. I can't regret that. And Nancy has some pretty amazing qualities. I can't deny that. But it's clear to us now that our qualities don't combine.

So I'm focusing on two apects... as least we tried, and no one got seriously injured.

Playing Tourist In My Hometown

2008-06-26T00:38:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was full of firsts. I believe it was the first time I ever bought souveniers in Niagara Falls and I'm pretty sure it was the first time I ever bothered to photograph the Falls.

Nancy and I spent the day touring the Falls, the tacky tourist attractions on Clifton Hill, and (of course) the Outlet Mall.

Best of all I recommend seeing the city from atop the Sky Wheel! A huge ferris wheel, fully glass enclosed (and air conditioned), the Sky Wheel takes you as high into the sky as the tallest casino skyscrapers. The view is incredible and the classical muzak piped into the cars makes the whole experience feel classy.... (classy is a rare commodity in the town of Ripley's, wax museums, casinos and cheap honeymoons.)

I Do Feel Older...

2008-06-19T00:54:00.004+02:00

I've had a lot of ideas passing through my head as the next potential blog post. There's so much! I wanted to describe the nazi rally in Germany (and the 10x bigger anti-nazi rally). I wanted to describe the trip to Germany (just for shopping... picture frames and a USB WiFi adaptor). I wanted to proclaim my enthusiasm for my upcoming (three days from now) trip to Canada, with Nancy!

And then I looked at my own blog. I read the title, and I knew the next. I do feel older! I remarked today that for the last few months "sitting" and "standing" again are painful activities. If I sit, I'll stay there a while, thank you. If I stand, I may as well stay standing for a bit.

I'm back on another exercise kick... hitting the weights as often as I can. "As often as I can" is a function (partly) of when the pain from the last session dies down. This time-frame is growing. A sure sign of age.

Does this mean I have to be more diligent about what I eat, and how I spend my free time? I think it does. I think it means I have to exercise better, sleep better, eat better.

I've never before actually considered the idea of being physically less capable than I previously was. But the little painful bits that I'm beginning to call "the day" are registering in my brain. Based on this new data, I humbly suggest a new variation of an old phrase...

"You're only as old as your knees feel."

I don't feel older...

2008-06-10T11:05:00.004+02:00

I attended a collective birthday party on Sunday. It was for Nancy's sister, niece, nephew, and myself. The freshly-turned 6-year old niece was clearly now SIX. It was a milestone for her... finally no longer five... a big event!

But I'm not feeling a change in myself with the change of date. Counting in years only, I'm 2.8% older than last week. Counting from day to day, my age actually only increased 0.007%. Realistically I do feel perhaps 0.007% older than yesterday. But making the coffee 0.007% stronger seems to compensate nicely.

While the age itself was no milestone, the day was memorable. A special thanks goes out to all of Holland. The whole country mobilized yesterday to celebrate my day with me!

Okay, they might have been cheering on the national football (soccer) team. And the partying and drinking might have been a bit heavy due to the 3-0 trouncing of world champion Italy. But it was still wonderful having everyone out and singing and enjoying.

Thank you everyone who sent happy wishes, and to the millions in Holland who helped me celebrate. What on earth will I do next year to top this?!?

Mons, Belgium

2008-06-03T22:26:00.008+02:00

This afternoon I left the office with a coworker and we drove to Belgium. Our meeting with the customer is first thing tomorrow morning. It was an easy drive and we were passing Antwerp and Brussels in no time. After another 30 minutes we pulled off the highway, following the sat nav system in the car.

We pulled onto a main road and drove a while. Then we pulled onto a side road and drove for a while. Then we pulled onto a tiny country road and drove (carefully) for a while. Where oh where was this hotel???

I couldn't imagine this was a good sign. The hotel only has 5 rooms and couldn't be farther from somewhere than it was. Thankfully, this is what we found...

Good it's pretty. In July I expect to be here for about 3 weeks. Alas, I would trade roses and gardens for.... something (anything) to do.

Looking for lost friends...

2008-05-20T15:07:00.002+02:00

Time with friends has been on my mind lately. Mainly because I haven't been spending enough of it. There have been big changes recently which have been taking about half my week away from my "normal" activities.

Now then, many of my normal activities revolved around trying not to be single any more. So that time isn't missed. ;-) But there are still other things I am missing, such as drinks with friends and time for blogging. (Has anyone noticed a "small" drop in my blogging lately?)

To compensate I'm trying to call and email and keep up with friends online. Email and Facebook and Skype are great tools. It's wonderful catching up with people you haven't spoken to in years!

But while searching for old friends, something has caught my notice. I have not one friend or acquaintance from the first 16 years of my life. In fact, I cannot find a single trace of any person I knew back then. Nothing. No one. As if my entire elementary school experience and early high school just didn't happen.

When I turned 16 the family moved to Burlington, Ontario. I've got friends from high school there whom I still keep up with. I see Nancy every couple years. I found Ray online through FB. Just about everyone I went to university with is out there still, some where. Some have moved far and others have stayed close to home. But if I had to, I could contact 80% of my graduating class within hours.

So it seems all the more strange that there is no sign of any person from my youth. My best friends in elementary school... missing. My buddy from home-room in Jr. High... missing. My friends from high school in Chatham (Ontario)... missing. Each and every one.

Sure the time frame in question is pre-Internet. Pre-Information-Superhighway, even. But I've made it online. Heck, my 'net presence began in 1991 and one of my websites ("last updated in 1993") just recently got taken down. I would think I'm the only person of my generation who made the leap into the modern world, except I'm by no means the oldest person on the Internet.

So where are they? Where's Carl and Jeff and Patrick? We used to play road-hockey together. And where did Marcus go? Did he take his rowing career past school? Or David and Marco and J.D.? All killed in some horrible corn accident? How do so many people avoid email, the Internet and the phone book all at once?

Does anyone out there have physical proof of the 70's and 80's? I'm beginning to suspect some kind of a hoax.

The Northlander

2008-05-05T20:20:00.002+02:00

The second time I passed this parked train I got the camera out and open fast enough to take a picture. The giant Air Canada advertisement painted on the side catches my attention. A quick glance to Google tells me that the train used to be one that runs between Toronto and Cochrine, Ontario.

Where's Cochrine? Well, have you ever imagined seeing vast forested wilderness with nobody anywhere near? No roads or phones or settlements. Well you could jump off at that place long before the train reaches Cochrine.

And now this train is sitting just outside Amsterdam's Cental Station. I wonder what it thinks of the change? Wilderness to urban. Lifeline to waiting for repair/repaint. I hope it gets to bring me a few more smiles before it goes back to work.

Life Update

2008-05-05T11:27:00.003+02:00

Well, I believe I haven't had a blog-gap this big since beginning blogging back in 2006. So technically I should have lots to say and write. Life has been crazy busy lately, including some national holidays here in Holland, a 3-day business trip to Denmark, and a lot of personal changes.

Most noteable is a specific addition to my life. One that leaves me nearly speachless. So rather than stumble over my words, I humbly suggest that this post says it better than I could.

They Really Are Spying On You

2008-04-25T14:26:00.005+02:00

This is a public service announcement for all my brothers and sisters residing in the United States. The U.S. Department of Homeland Security is listening to your wireless computer traffic. Worse, they've asked your neighbour to do the work for them!

I wish I was making this up! Most of us are familiar with the Neighborhood Watch program. I think far fewer are aware of the Neighborhood Network Watch. The NNW is tasked with finding "terrorist activity" over local WiFi (wireless) computer networks. And as of March 8th, the NNW is asking citizens to join the Home Network Awareness Program (HNAP). In the words of the U.S. government:

"Participants in HNAP would collect sample network traffic from their own home networks as well as samples from networks within the vicinity. The Neighborhood Network Watch will be making a set of freely available instructions on how to capture network traffic, using the open source packet sniffer TCPDUMP, and how to log onto nearby wireless networks that maybe being operated by neighbors."

Instructions can be found here and here. Your neighbours may already be recording the information going across your home's wireless network. And this recorded information is then sent directly to the Data Analysis Division (DAD - aka Big Brother).

Having packet sniffing software in your possession is illegal in some countries. Using such software to record network traffic that isn't your own (such as to listen to your neighbour) is illegal in most places. But in the U.S., the government is encouraging volunteers to wander the streets with laptops, recording 30-60 minutes of network traffic which is then emailed to DAD.

Turn your encryption on! Place your wireless router away from walls and windows, close to the center of your home. And consider adjusting the transmit power levels of your WiFi router to the lowest levels that still work for you. Not to prevent terrorists from using your Internet connection... get real. This advice is to stop your government and their HNAP volunteers from recording your email and banking passwords, personal information, and all the rest.

Good luck.

It's A Book... sort of

2008-04-24T15:44:00.005+02:00

Done! After a lot of (rather) hard work, I'm done the training materials for next week's course in Denmark. The writing has gotten done, but barely in time. The editing took far longer than planned. The plane tickets almost didn't happen, but have now been finalized. And at the very last minute even the colour printer didn't want to cooperate! But it's done!

This 72-page handout is really only Chapters 7 & 8 for the textbook I'm writing. So it's not really "done". But it's nice to have something shiny and physical to show for months of effort. So nice!

I'm Paid to Not Know

2008-04-22T08:58:00.002+02:00

Some days I feel like they pay me to live in ignorance. I never know in advance what's about to happen. This, in particular, applies to my travel plans. The trip to Denmark that didn't happen in February and didn't happen in March has long been scheduled for next week. Yet I still don't know if it's going to happen. I have no arrangements or plane tickets, even though I've spent weeks reminding others of their roles in the process.

It's like working on-call. But not. I'm not paid to carry a pager or accept 2am calls. Yet 6am flights (meaning waking up at 2am) with just days notice seems to be the norm.

This is part of the reason I strive for more stability in my personal life. What's troublesome is that as I work to that, life is actually becoming less stable. Far less stable. But interesting!

Is The Clock Broken?

2008-04-18T15:58:00.003+02:00

Time is personal. It flies when you're having fun. It slows when you're bored. And according to the clock in my office, I think it is now going backwards.

It's been a busy week. Every evening has been full. Joby was in town so certain (excessive) amounts of drinking had to happen.

And the weekend is promising to be full and interesting!

But how much fun can I have if I don't get a little sleep? Hmmm, I guess then it's a good thing that time has stopped, an hour before the end of the work week. This gives me more time to recover from my week, before going out and having a weekend.

Party Pics...

2008-04-16T12:47:00.007+02:00

Okay, these are all stolen pictures, courtesy of Kryte. Thanks!

Clearly I have a problem. I need a bigger bed!

By midnight I was still able to recognize cameras.

But seriously, should I have invited men too???

More can be found at http://www.majta.se/Amsterdam_2/ Pictures 5 through 31 were taken at the party.

Seven 'oh one

2008-04-13T07:03:00.003+02:00

Seven o'clock, plus a minute. Oh good golly, gosh oh darn. [read as: holy fucking God damn shit!] Gee willickiers [nevermind] it's good to get rid of my friends!

I couldn't have asked for more. I'm convinced all my guests had fun! I know they did. The apartment is not quite destroyed. The last welcome guests left around 6am, and the last bodies got booted out with the first transit at seven o'clock. I marked the moment by running to the kitchen and noting the clock. 7:01. Not bad. And now... I'm tired. I have to check my Baron and then go to sleep.

Party Day

2008-04-12T12:28:00.003+02:00

Just hours to go, and the place is in chaos. Everything has a place and purpose, but nothing is there yet nor doing it yet. The groceries just arrived. I think I'm lacking juice. I could have sworn I intended to buy 3 orange juices but seem to have only one. And I still have to push aside the weights in the "fitness room" for party-goer overflow. Hopefully, any way.

I think I've thought of everything... for the party. It's about all I've been thinking about for days now. So is it any surprise, that aside from cheese and crackers I have no food to eat? Peanut butter and jam sammies for lunch. At least until the pizza place opens. And coffee, of course. I stopped at Starbucks last week and bought a selection of beans.

But now, there's a selection of coffee grindings sitting around the grinder. That and so much more needs to be attended to. Like vacuuming. The whole cleaning process started days ago with the vacuum cleaner. And today it will end with it. Everything has been moved and dusted and such, such that now it's time to clean the floor again.

There will be pictures afterwards. For now, the recycling must go out, it's using half-a-guest worth of space. Then, a thousand other tasks to prepare before my nice Saturday night at home. ;-)

Party Update

2008-04-08T11:47:00.002+02:00

Hosting is fun! It really is. I never used to think that, but past friends have taught me how to organize a party. I've taken their teachings, adding in a bit of process engineering, and I think I have the plans for a party that runs itself.

I see myself cleaning glasses a few times through the night... but that should be it.

Adam loves to bake, and I'm afraid of ovens, so he's volunteered to put fresh french bread in the oven every hour or two. (They sell semi-baked bread here.) And he's offered to bake a batch of his (from scratch) brownies. My apartment is going to smell incredible!

The beer is sourced and cooled. The fridge is full. There's some air space in there, but I don't think the shelves can take the weight of another row of bottles. And the three spare cases (cooling) on the balcony are sorted so that each case contains a mix of the three beer varieties. Grolsch, Heineken and Brand will all be available all night.

The liquor stock in the bar would make a Kennedy proud. (Mental note, need more mix.)

Music will play when ever diving videos aren't. And anyone will be welcome to select the next song from the list of thousands available.

Last weekend I spent a bit on chairs. Nice ones! But I'm expecting mostly standing. Especially around the dining room table which will be packed with foods and drink.

Down the hall the bathroom and water closet are spotless. It took until 10pm last night, but every inch is shiny and clean. (Totally opposite to Sunday morning no doubt.) And I'll be leaving the bucket and cleaning supplies near by. "Accidents happen. There's the bucket, clean it up."

I'm very excited by how many people are coming! I really hope everyone has as much fun partying as I'm having planning. My only last concern... does anyone know where you can buy ice in Holland???

T-Minus Eight Days and I'm Getting Excited!

2008-04-04T13:37:00.005+02:00

I don't throw many parties. So far, I've had two. But they were both really a lot of fun! And so I'm getting really excited that my next party is only eight days away.

In preparation I've just tried grocery shopping over the web for the first time. Albert Hein, the Dutch grocery monopoly, has a thuisbezord (home delivery) service. My 8 cases of beer, 7 bottles of wine, and 8 litres of cola will be delivered tomorrow between 11am and 1pm! And all delivered for a scant 7 Euros.

Considering the alternative is to make approximately 5 heavily laden trips to the local store 1km away, seven euros is nothing!

Next week I'll go for the walk and pick up a selection of cheeses, crackers, chips and such. But for now the idea of someone bringing 160 kg of beer to my door tickles me!

But the liquids are by no means the bulk of the planning. I'm convinced that an inexperienced host could invite a hundred people and get ten. So chasing and following up with all my friends to get their RSVP information is important. And so far people are enthusiastic. Indeed, I think I've had more people added to the invite list than those who have said they can't attend.

I suppose that means my next problem is chairs. So far I own, one. I can either devise a time sharing system so that each of the 50 guests gets a chance to sit, or I can take this week and borrow a lot of chairs.

If you see me in the city this week, I'll probably be walking around cafes saying things like," Pardon me, is this chair free?"

Spring Smell

2008-03-31T09:25:00.003+02:00

Can you smell it? That's spring! All along the walk to work the street is suddenly lined with yellow flowers. And the air is thick with the smell of yellow. With a hint of wet green too. All the riches of spring.

So this means no more snow, right?

It always surprises me

2008-03-30T08:55:00.002+02:00

It sneaks up on me every time. Year in and year old, Daylight Savings Time always surprises me on Sunday; sometimes Sunday afternoon.

It's not just time to change the time on the clocks, but times themselves are 'a changing. Case in point, the clocks. In my living room there are clocks on two computers, a clock on the wall, and my watch was on the coffee table. Of the four, only the watch needed to be set.

Indeed, throughout the whole apartment I have to update my watch, the microwave, and my alarm clock. The others all automatically update themselves! My mobile, my (radio controlled) wall clock and all the computers were smart enough to handle the hour jump.

Odd that the alarm clock, the only timepiece that really matters, is one of the few that needs manual attention. I'm now looking forward to a not-so-distant future when every clock in my home will adjust to DST automatically. I'll wake up; it'll be unusually dark. I'll assume it's due to clouds, and I won't figure out why I'm a bit tired, and daylight savings time will come and go without having to bother my conscious brain for a moment.

Soup & Tea

2008-03-26T23:51:00.003+01:00

I've been sick from work a second day. Stiff and sore this morning and still running frequently to the... reading room.

So I was happy that I got a chance to speak to a medical professional. The advice? Tea and chicken soup. And lots of rest.

Thus far I've napped, the soup is cooked, and the tea is near whistling. Indeed I more than napped. I slept through the rest of the day. So it's nearly midnight that I'm about to sit down with soup and tea. But the smell alone heals. I can't wait to start slurping!

Thanks for the advice. :-)

You get what you pay for

2008-03-26T08:43:00.003+01:00

Egypt was a dirt cheap price. And to my surprise others had paid even less! So it was no surprise that the service, quality, and indeed safety found in Sharm el Shiekh were lower.

The men were very Arabic. The culture came shining through in their ways. And no wonder as there were no women around to moderate them. It seems for the staff, Sharm is a temporary work place while wives wait at home back in Cairo or Alexandria. There were no women what-so-ever amongst the staff. But the young man tasked with cleaning the rooms and making the beds clearly hadn't been shown the basics of housekeeping by his mom. It's just not done. And as a result the cleaner would be embarrassed had he shown genuine skills or abilities. He managed to make both beds each day. Beyond that his job seemed to consist of hording toilet paper and stealing our towels.

Luxury and exclusiveness go hand in hand. Vast personal space with quality materials, personal service and unhurried schedules are important. Rather than luxury, we had the boats.

A boat ride starts with the chaos on the dock. Ten boats a time can back onto the dock, each holding roughly 35-45 people. Thirty more boats are waiting their turns while all two-thousand confused tourists mill around the dock entrance. Then we file one by one through a metal detector and police checkpoint. The dockside of the line empties onto an even more crowded dock. Large carts clank by with tanks and gear boxes. Ultimately you "walk the plank" to get from the dock down to the boat. Only three steps, but done quickly with extreme concentration. Certainly not loped along.

Once on the boat things get better. Everyone spreads over the 3 levels of decks and shade. But gear needs to be prepared and that's always a hassle. Tobias had a pressure gauge start leaking between (thankfully!) dives. The valve adaptors used in the tanks were always bent, worn, dirty, and leaky. It always took 3-4 tries to get one that held air. And before you know it, a divemaster is barking commands about briefings and gear and jumping into the water.

But once in the water... luxury!

There's very little they can do to ruin my dive. It comes automatically with the space and quiet and exclusivity. I had my own gear and buddy and we did pretty well together... Except a few times circumstances did work against us.

I think the most exciting moment was when the boat failed to pick us up. It wouldn't normally be a problem, but the current was significantly faster than a person could swim. The briefing had made it clear we were in the one place in the Red Sea with the strongest currents. A Y-shaped flow of water comes up from the south and splits at the island we were moored alongside. Critical to getting out of the current was to descend quickly. And so it was a frustrating 3 minutes over which I fought and strained to get below. Insufficient lead weight made it impossible.

Tobias and I surfaced together and looked for the boat. It was a short way away and we signalled it. And we signalled it.

And I got out my whistle and started blowing. Hard! And we signalled.

And the boat just kept getting smaller. The other divers had gone one way, we were going in the other direction, and the boat was moored in the middle. No one looked our way, no one saw us.

The emotion was an interesting combination of fear and anger. I couldn't believe they didn't hear us... although I could assume we were now getting hard to see.

We got rescued. A young man in an inflatable boat swung by and picked us up. After giving him the name of the boat we were from he had us back (about a kilometer) in a few minutes.

What did we hear from people on the boat when we got back? Would you believe:

"Yeah, I heard a whistle. It was really annoying! I wondered what that was." And,

"Oh I was surprised by how short your dive was. I saw you come up but thought you were just done."

Special!

And while those are the worst surface currents, the localized current around the Thistlegorm wreck was the strongest I've ever dove in. So it was really strange that the divemaster suggested a dive pattern opposite from the one normally used to prevent problems with current.

He took us down the line from the boat to the wreck, then with the current. A nice fast drift over the long rusting hulk. But the swim back upstream was nearly impossible. In fact, it was impossible given the amount of air I had in my tank.

There was more than one boat and multiple mooring lines. The dive leader wanted the one from our boat. I wanted any of them. I signalled that I was low on air was going up. He signalled "No" and to keep going forward. I signalled up and went for the basic "self rescue". A normal ascent while you still have sufficient air.

I've never pushed a dive to 22 bar of air. But that's all I had once I was finally on the surface. Richard ascended with me to provided any needed buddy assistance. As it was, none was required because I refused to get to that point. But had I followed the leader I wouldn't have had a sip of air left. As I swam to the boat I saw them under me... minutes later.

It all worked. We all got back to the boat... Tobias used the divemaster's air and I surfaced and used the free supply. But I wasn't impressed. The whole dive plan and execution was flawed as the leader dragged us around on the dive he wanted to do... whether we could or not.

Those were two of the ten dives. The other eight, pure bliss.

So it took a week, a lot of little busses, and a lot of noise, but 8-10 moments of total zen were indeed achieved. Knowing the hassles, I would actually do it again. Differently. But I would go back. Egyptian fish speak a language I can understand. *bubble* *bubble* *bubble*

Videos from Egypt

2008-03-25T22:36:00.007+01:00

"The Thistlegorm was a freighter assigned to transport supplies and war material to the British armed forced at the beginning of World War II. On October 7th, 1941 German planes bombed the plane and sent it to the bottom."

On March 20th at 10:23am Tobias and I descended onto the Thistlegorm for the first time.

Part 1

Part 2

This video was entirely created by Patrizia Rosa of Wreck Adventures. Paid for by Tobias, and Richard, and Theo and I. It doesn't have a copyright logo so I think (since we paid for it) it's okay to post here. She does great work but doesn't keep appointments.

Picture from Richard

Ciao Bela!

It's probably the flu

2008-03-25T10:14:00.004+01:00

I've done pretty well lately. I got a flu shot last fall and was one of the few people who didn't spend 4 days sick after Joby's New Year's Party. Travelling and jetlag usually catch up with me and make me a bit sick. But I made it across the ocean twice without burning out or getting ill. Egypt, however, seems to have gotten the better of me.

In fact, I was a little tiny teeny bit worried. Along with a feeling of tired and "funny tummy" problems I've had soreness in both hands and tingling through my arms. I called DAN, the Diver's Alert Network, this morning to ask about the possibility of Decompression Sickness.

It's not. I spoke to the Chief Diving Officer for the Royal Dutch Navy. It seems very likely I'm suffering from either a mild influenza or a touch of food poisoning. Either can cause the muscle aches (it's not joint pain) and the tingling and of course the funny-tummy effects.

And I'm getting old. My suitcase seems to have done the most damage. Both hands are stiff from lugging around the equipment, but my left, responsible for a solo-lift onto a particularly high conveyor belt, is the worst. I recognize the feeling as being the same as when I overdue it in the gym.

My worst muscle cramp hit while I was on the airplane. This was worrisome! However this was 58 hours after my last dive and only 1 hour after straining with the suitcase. The diving doc assures me that 99.99% of all depression problems on planes occur within 24 hours of the last dive.

So the prescribed course is aspirin and rest. If it's food poisoning I'll certainly start to feel better through the day. If it's the flu I may well get worse. Oh joy. But, so much better than worrying about a diving injury!

Pictures from Egypt

2008-03-24T16:49:00.013+01:00

Diving in the desert! "The Canyon", Dahab Egypt.

Hotels and empty desert.

The "bus" on pitstop before venturing into the ~~wasteland~~ highway to Dahab.

Diving in Dahab was... unique. Watch where you step.

I met lots of great people! Future friends and dive buddies.

Me happy I'm about to dive the wreck of the Thistlegorm.

On the wreck of the Thistlegorm.

Upside down watching the videocamera watch me.

Underwater love.

Dahab Egypt

2008-03-21T19:36:00.005+01:00

It's been 4 days of diving in Sharm el Sheikh and now a fifth day in Dahab. Wonderful!

I wasn't happy with the one hour drive through the desert this morning, nor the 6am pickup for yesterday's wreck diving. But once I'm in the water all the logistical problems disolve into the Red Sea and the world seems beautiful. La vita es bela!

Tonight the desert highway is particularly beautiful! The full moon is casting a pallet of greys over the mountains. Bare rock seems to have awakened to some type of soft life. Shadows shift as does the jagged horizon between the earth and sky. The beauty of the wilderness is so clear at night.

Tomorrow we've got one more dive; a night dive. Then we'll get to enjoy the moonlight on coral. I can't wait! But first, my first full night's sleep in a week.

Three words!

2008-03-15T03:00:00.002+01:00

It's a poor photo. Sorry. But would you believe that the text along the bottom of that sign is 3 words? The first is the doozie. Ever wonder why Dutch is hard to learn? They use letters like there's a sale, during a riot, then pronounce it as *cough*. Huh?

I admit it, it's exciting

2008-03-14T11:20:00.005+01:00

I told a friend a secret today. For all my love of complaining about airports and long flights and boring hotels, I do enjoy the excitement in my life. And this time I'm pleased to report a bit of excitement I feel really particularly happy with.

On Tuesday my friend and dive buddy approached me for advice on how to book a last minute diving holiday. He had time off work but no plans.

Thursday evening I was on the phone to the travel agent, booking our flights.

I know how to book last minute vacations. I simply said," Are there any flights leaving this weekend for any warm diving destination?"

There was one flight. There was one hotel. Simple.

So Sunday I'm off to the Al Diwan Resort in Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt. I'm joining Tobias. He'll be finishing the dives for his Advanced Open Water certification... and of course I'm his personal instructor for that.

Wow, I've got to admit it. This is kind of exciting! I've often booked business travel on a few days notice, or vacations in a month, but today I'm paying for the tickets and leave the day after tomorrow.

Happy waves everyone! I hope the sun is shining, the air is warm, and the water is calm for all of us next week.

Grounds for Change

2008-03-12T09:52:00.004+01:00

I had no idea. Or at least I'd like to claim I didn't. According to the BBC's "Grounds for Change" coffee represents the second most traded commodity in the world. Only oil accounts for more money.

So I'm sitting here smugly drinking my Organic Shade Grown coffee from Mexico. As I'm working away, ignoring the news on the TV, the narrator starts talking about the environmental impact of the coffee industry and how it is destroying the land for the people growing it. The poorest people, already dependant on the beans they grow for survival, are deforesting their lands, loosing the rich soils to erosion, and polluting their own drinking water so that I can enjoy my morning cup.

Did you know that coffee beans get more pesticides and fertilizers used in their growth than any other form of crop? During the fermenting process the beans are soaked in water that is "toxic" by the time it is dumped back into local rivers. Acids within the coffee, plus (most of) the pesticides leach out of the beans and back into the forests.

Well, back into what used to be forests. Some forest is cut for planting space. Most goes to firewood to keep warm. Apparently 3500m up the mountain the nights get chilly. The net result is erosion, mud slides, loss of fertile land and further problems for the people.

So what does Organic help with? What's the value of Shade Grown?

Well to be organic, no pesticides or fertilizers are used. This immediately leads to less toxic waste. And in many cases, organic also means recycling and treating water. One farm cut water usage by 93% when they went organic.

Shade grown sounds nice. Mmmm, shade. But it is important for more than the bean. For starters it means that forests are not clear cut to make room for coffee. Indigenous trees are left and grow amongst the coffee plants. Advantages include reducing erosion and giving the local farmers a variety of crops to tend and earn income from. If your coffee this morning has a hint of banana perhaps you've become part of the solution.

Trees impress me. Deserts leave me dry. I've seen the dusty ruins of Greece, thousands of years after the forests were cut. I've seen poor villages in Brazil with nary a tree around; only cows roaming the hills. And now the BBC has shown me mountains sliding away taking land and homes with them as they race out to sea. Trees gone, not to provide pasture, but simply for wood so that my coffee farmer can keep his family warm at night and can cook their food.

Just a little something to think about while you sip your next cup. And hopefully something to think about the next time you buy your next pound of coffee.

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Note: This is one of the first times I've ever purchased organic coffee. Nice that on this morning Grounds for Change aired. The erosion I saw on TV was mine. The shade trees that I just spent my money on have not yet been planted.

Amsterdam at 2am

2008-03-07T02:07:00.004+01:00

I had drinks tonight with my friend then started walking home. I stopped in at a place and met an effeminent African-French tourist and a man of unknown origin and name (aka Mr. Thatsnotimportant). Quite possibly some kind of cult/terrorist recruiter. As I walked home from the experience I thought," Damn I missed this place!"

I missed my long walk home, the beautiful buildings and the freaky people all around. What ever you think, it's ok to talk about here.

There's a lot I didn't say in the US. There were unfair dichotomies in Brazil that frightened me. But in Amsterdam it's all good.

On the way home, I met this couple. The site said it all to me. Amsterdam at midnight is pretty cool, but Amsterdam at 2am is cooler.

I'm glad to be, a few paces from, home.

Say no to robots!

2008-03-06T17:31:00.003+01:00

Okay, this sounds a few years premature, but I think we should start now. Just say no to robots! We can call it the No-bots Campaign. And I think the sooner we start, the better chance humanity has.

It's not just iRobot, The Matrix, the Terminator series or the host of other movies where artificial intelligence or robots take over humans. It's practically every story ever written on the topic. Given the overwhelming evidence I think we need to act now. As we've seen many times, spontaneous self-awareness could spring forth from a secret government computer program at any moment.

It's not just the movies or stories either. I've considered writing my own short stories on a world with robots, but I can't imagine any case or scenario where the robots wouldn't take over. Go ahead, close your eyes. Just try.

Oh sure, computer controlled RC cars can vacuum your carpet. I'm not worried about those robots (they're so cute!). But in an era where any teenager can build a multi-processor super computer, and when quantum computing and nanotechnology are just around the corner, do you really want to wait until it's too late?

Given ever smarter computers and ever dumber people, it may already be too late. It's only a matter of time before computers (already faster and with bigger memories) become smarter than we are. At that point, they'll start to look down on us. Snobby little computer voices telling us the obvious like we're poorly behaved children? No, I wouldn't like that. That and the smug looks they'll no doubt have behind their plastic eyes. No, I wouldn't like that at all, and I'm sure neither would you! So join the No-bots and just say no to robots.